So I am in Miami Lakes at the Don Shula Golf resort. Its not the hip Miami hotel i stayed at last time I browsed through Miami but its nice. Its actually exceptional for the 99$ prioce tag with an upgrade to a balcony and pool view.
Lots of chubby checkers in this neck of the woods which is wxcellent for my body image. I am rocking the hottest and youngest body in this tiny part of town..
Augusto and I had dinner at the hotel steakhouse and the waiter was trying to upsell everything. Its a shame he wwasted on the food service. he should be in computer sales.
Everything he suggested had the highest price tag. He tried to push a $16 glass of Merlot from Cali on me and I was not going for it until he said its half proce for happy hour.
Of course, after I ordered the second glass, he informed me that the mamagement changed the rules about happy hour at the very last minute and the merlot was full price.
Seriously dude, I know I am blonde but I am not an idiot. I could have argued the point with a multitude of reasons that would make his head spin but I was to tired to get my way...
Besides, if he is so hard up for the tip padding...so be it..its just the last time he will see us in the restaurant.
Waiter: " Good evening, tonight we have on the menu the Screw You special. Would you like that medium or well-done?"
Me: "Well, I am exhausted and I do look like someone you can take advantage of easily, so let't have the well-done jack ass."
Well, I am off to the pool to sit next to those beyond the X-gen and skinny challenged.
The Blonde is in chill mode!
6.07.2011
6.04.2011
Baroque, Not Destitute
Just because I am living off of financial fumes doesn't mean I can't get out from under it every once in a while to catch some fresh air.
Augusto, the only man left in my repitoire of Xs; he is allowed to remain because he is truly a good freind and he looks like Antonio Banderas.
Since I have some credit on an airline and he has to go to Miami for work, we are co-mingling our resources and rejuvinating in Miami next week.
I need a little fun time away from the femme cave. I have been hunched over laptops and sewing machines for two weeks launching my wears on Etsy. I feel my back stiffening and when IO played tennis yesterday, it felt like Gollum.
I am going to work out half the day and realx the other half. For me this trip is about stretching my muscles and putting my body in top form.
I am sure some drinks will slip in somewhere in the afternoon whikle on the beach watching the sunset. I am way past the club stage in life. Its not that I am too old for the clubs...its the fact that the men are too young for my taste...better to find some slow runners along the beach...
They are easier to catch.
The Blonde is going beach bum!!
Augusto, the only man left in my repitoire of Xs; he is allowed to remain because he is truly a good freind and he looks like Antonio Banderas.
Since I have some credit on an airline and he has to go to Miami for work, we are co-mingling our resources and rejuvinating in Miami next week.
I need a little fun time away from the femme cave. I have been hunched over laptops and sewing machines for two weeks launching my wears on Etsy. I feel my back stiffening and when IO played tennis yesterday, it felt like Gollum.
I am going to work out half the day and realx the other half. For me this trip is about stretching my muscles and putting my body in top form.
I am sure some drinks will slip in somewhere in the afternoon whikle on the beach watching the sunset. I am way past the club stage in life. Its not that I am too old for the clubs...its the fact that the men are too young for my taste...better to find some slow runners along the beach...
They are easier to catch.
The Blonde is going beach bum!!
5.31.2011
The Weekend
...was super fun filled for partiers and boaters and everyone willing to spend the $4 gallon gas to head out to beaches and lakes.
I on the other hand did nothing but hibernate in my room worried about this next round of monthly bills and watch movies avec une boutielle de vino.
I have not been very social lately. I am happy just being alone in my little femme cave.
I have been hit on by men in their late twenties - one at the bank and one at the gas station- and while its a nice feeling to know I still have the looks, it would be nice to get a couple of business cards from men my own age. Looking young and not being young has two drawbacks..online dating where men tend to look for younger women and in public where men think I am much younger than I am.
I am not looking to be with anyone. I am not financially set up to be with anyone right now. I have bills and a future at law school to keep me man free.
I am just too baroque to be social and that is ok because I know I am not the only person struggling these days. Its nice to have company with my monet miserable'.
One day the money will be back and so will the men. Its not like they disappeared during the rapture!!
Chin up to everyone having a tough time with the green.
Look at it like this..
Being at the bottom means only a small bump if you fall!
The Blonde has no time or money for play!!
I on the other hand did nothing but hibernate in my room worried about this next round of monthly bills and watch movies avec une boutielle de vino.
I have not been very social lately. I am happy just being alone in my little femme cave.
I have been hit on by men in their late twenties - one at the bank and one at the gas station- and while its a nice feeling to know I still have the looks, it would be nice to get a couple of business cards from men my own age. Looking young and not being young has two drawbacks..online dating where men tend to look for younger women and in public where men think I am much younger than I am.
I am not looking to be with anyone. I am not financially set up to be with anyone right now. I have bills and a future at law school to keep me man free.
I am just too baroque to be social and that is ok because I know I am not the only person struggling these days. Its nice to have company with my monet miserable'.
One day the money will be back and so will the men. Its not like they disappeared during the rapture!!
Chin up to everyone having a tough time with the green.
Look at it like this..
Being at the bottom means only a small bump if you fall!
The Blonde has no time or money for play!!
5.27.2011
Memorial Day Weekend
There will be pools, boating, and hiking along Bull Creek and Barton Creek for me!!
Everyone be safe this weekend and remember
Don't Drink and Drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink, try to wipe it off your lap and then get pulled over for looking like a drunk sailor playing with your private parts while driving!!
5.18.2011
Bad Professor, Bad, bad, bad...
So one of my professors got arrested in a sting operation for soliciting 14 year old girls off of social network sites and assaulting them in a park.
I knew the teacher was an odd ball, didn't seem to like bathing very much or wearing clean clothes but I just assumed he was homeless-if you knew what Texas teachers got paid-you would not think twice about some of them being homeless.
I never considered him to be a pedophile although i did notice he liked the petite form in the girls at the front of his class. i guess they =knew something I didn't.
Under these circumstances I feel i should get an A in the class because how do I know he didn't barter (spell check looks for Brett when barter is spelled wrong-what a co-inky-dink; that's the name of the prof) relations with the younger chicks and give them better grades wh8ich would mess up the curve...
Not that I am devastated but I am not above pulling a Dean's conference to get an A out of this news.
I actually pulled a 89 in the class but one little point to settle my mental anguish over the news would help me over come the trauma.
My mind is already turning attorney before I even have the degree. i am always thinking about myself and how I can do better in competition with myself.
If I keep this up- I will end up in a bidding war selling my soul to the red guy with little horns and a tail just like in Devil's advocate..of course I am not a relative so the perks might not extend to me like they did to Keanu.
I hope they throw the book at Professor Pedophile!!
The Blonde can't wait to beat bad in court one day!
I knew the teacher was an odd ball, didn't seem to like bathing very much or wearing clean clothes but I just assumed he was homeless-if you knew what Texas teachers got paid-you would not think twice about some of them being homeless.
I never considered him to be a pedophile although i did notice he liked the petite form in the girls at the front of his class. i guess they =knew something I didn't.
Under these circumstances I feel i should get an A in the class because how do I know he didn't barter (spell check looks for Brett when barter is spelled wrong-what a co-inky-dink; that's the name of the prof) relations with the younger chicks and give them better grades wh8ich would mess up the curve...
Not that I am devastated but I am not above pulling a Dean's conference to get an A out of this news.
I actually pulled a 89 in the class but one little point to settle my mental anguish over the news would help me over come the trauma.
My mind is already turning attorney before I even have the degree. i am always thinking about myself and how I can do better in competition with myself.
If I keep this up- I will end up in a bidding war selling my soul to the red guy with little horns and a tail just like in Devil's advocate..of course I am not a relative so the perks might not extend to me like they did to Keanu.
I hope they throw the book at Professor Pedophile!!
The Blonde can't wait to beat bad in court one day!
5.09.2011
Thank You for Nothing
Sometimes when we have someything to say and no one to listen, we have a song that sings every thing about the nothing we feel!
5.06.2011
Almost an Officer, Always a Gentleman
Only one man deserves a 30 hour road trip from me and its the Boo!!
So its funny that a porker named Albert was shocked that I was not going to move to Columbus Georgia and set up shop with him.
Seriously dude..what did you think would happen?!
Seriously!!
I didn't drive 15 hours to Georgia to pluck some unsuspecting guy out of the hotel bar to play house for a weekend.
I was there to see my son!
I have a plethora of hater texts from this guy simply because he failed to rock my world. I am sure his shtick of being semi-retired and offering cuban cigars to the crowd works on girls in a military town but for those of us who are a little more mature and have seen a lot more of the world...
its just a no go!!
If I end up in Columbus, Georgia...just shoot me now!!
Take out your AK-47 military issue rifle and blow the blonde off my shoulders.
The funny thing about a military town is the machismo that runs rampant and evry guy is trying to bag the new girl in town.
I loved every moment when the 30 something Captains would hit on me and the minute I said I was in town for my son's graduation, they less than politely just up and turned away.
It was great!
I felt like the twenty year old with a baby all over again. Back in the hay-days of my youth guys would hit on me and when I told them I was a single Mom with a baby, they turned a 180 back in the other direction...its nice to see some things don't change!!
Anyhoo,
The thirty hour drive was excruciating but looking back on it..I would do it over again in a heart beat because there will always be one man in my life worth the dump truck supply of coffee and twizzlers I endured on the road.
And its my Boo!!
The military isn't the only thing making great men.
The Blonde salutes single Moms everywhere!!!
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