4.23.2011

Applying Like Crazy

I spent today applying to all the pre-law schools recommended by the American Bar Association. Apparently, they do not agree with the US World News Report rankings of schools.

And I rather work the schools ranked by the Bar association than a magazine that sells ads to universities for a living.

Along with my educational apps for the fall; I spent the rest of the day creating online employment opportunity apps with health food stores near and around my proposed schools.

I don't know why I am so gung ho about working for a health food store but I am.

My intended target and apron wearing fantasy starts at applying to

Sprouts


I am a fanatic about keeping fit and healthy through proper dieting because I am too lazy to exercise and if you eat well, you dont have to bust your balls in a gym.

I am such an obesity snob, it would make sense for me to promote proper eating in a health food store rather than laying my eating rules down to the poor college slob who accidentally chose to sit next to me in class.

I get so aggravated by the sloppy way people take care of their bodies.

The ridiculousness of it all escapes me.

My sisters waited in line for an hour to put 5 pounds on their arse on a cupcake binge. Since this was a rare occurrence and the DC cupcake shop is on television, I can see the entertainment value. And it was super fun with the kiddos..so a little escape to sugarville is great..Bravo..

By the way Pookums...


You can order DC Cupcakes online now that you got the fan fair and the lime lighted shop scratched off your bucket list.

I love cupcakes too and once in a blue moon-my blue moon, not Michelle Obama's blue moon that keeps her arse growing in leaps and bounds-it perfectly alright to indulge in culinary for the pulmonary, a little bit.

But something has to give before the world gets weight heavy and tips a bit.


We think ourselves the best nation in the world not because we have to stand in line for food rations but because we can choose to stand in line to buy a dozen celebrity status cupcakes...

In Texas we have the top 3 cities for fatness and its all thanks to tex-mex which is nothing more than a combination of lard, flour, burger, and chicken cooked 18 different ways with cheese and salsa smothering the top of it.

Throw in a sugary dose of margaritas and its rotundity central in these parts.

I am a terrible fat snob..

A bigot of hugery!!


Chelsea Handler likes these mounds of flesh and fat because they make her look skinnier and prettier standing next to them..

but in reality obesity is costing us more than smoking and it doesn't make anyone look good to promote it!

Put a sin tax on coca-cola and McDonald's and see if people can quit?!!


The Blonde is a little health nut!

4.20.2011

Two Timers & Teetotalers

Teetotalers- with their fanny packs and guts - aren't the only ones scratched from my list...


I haven't been two timed, at least not that I know of, but there are two men that I feel especially sad for the women that endure their selfish undertaking.

After 6 years of being the other girl, I am doing other men. After years of being the one that helps keep proper relationship in tact, I have whipped out my blonde colored magical carpet and am fleeing to higher ground.

Augusto and Raine have women that they have been in long term relationships with. They apparently love them but not enough love is in their heart to keep their Johnson from poking at a private off base.

Augusto, I have a little more empathy for but Raine...he is just a wolf in Red Riding Hood's cape carying a basket of his ex's injustice on him so he can pander to a passively aggressive skip on women. He likes to interject how wonderful and honest he his being with is lovers but he fails to extend that same honesty with his pseudo betrothed.

He has given her the rules of engagement but as a woman-she is civilian- I am certain his ethics don't reach outside the boundaries of his mid-life crisis and the militarical (its a sniglet-you need to be SNL savvy to understand) belief system that he propagated in his man mind.

How funny men can me?

Raine and Augusto really do believe their massacre of truth becomes a tasty treat of bologna for all to consume.

Its bologna...that is what bologna is..a mesh of non meat -- non truth...

I am not hurt by their indiscretion but I am hurt by the fact, that for awhile, I became complacent to their mediocre bourgeois bologne.

Eat me..you neophytes... you will never have the charm and charisma of a European to carry out your silly rudimentary American affairs for very long.

Your day is coming near...

Woman who are smart and pretty will realize they need to feed on better men before they begin to believe 'they are what they eat'.

Lets all eat, pray, and love in a European way..sans the American men...

Fast food and gluttony have surpassed fine cuisine and good taste in this country.

I am rebelling!!

A Blonde only drinks and eats the best!!

4.19.2011

Holding Out

I have been holding out in the library now for a week. My finals are coming up and I need to rock on.

I am two weeks shy of finishing out this semester. Just in time too because I am solidly broke. Not just a little broke, I mean down right lint in the handbags and wallets broke.

It will be nice to find some full time work and relax on grades through the summer.

According to the news, jobs are on the rise..let's see if this non-traditional student can find work in a law firm...

I wouldn't mind working in a health food store with kids that have lots of tats and piercings. Wearing jeans to work for the summer appeals to me too.

I actually have 10 years in advertising and producing but I am fairly certain that job door that has been bolted for awhile now.

Besides, who wouldn't aspire to wearing a green apron every day?

I am beyond shame or embarrassment. I rather go to work and earn money for law school on my own than try to shag some old guy for allowance any day of the week.

Besides, I tried that and its totally not worth the boredom and the baggage that comes with these old birds.

Somewhere online -match profiles- I was convinced that X gen girls couldn't get a guy there own age..untrue..there are plenty of men my age and they have a lot less mental cargo than the crypt keepers I have been hanging out with.

An apron and dreadlocks for the summer?!

Better than wearing old dudes around my arm!!


I only have two thought and that is to get through law school and not date another douche for the duration of my time on this planet and I will start by bringing the age bracket down from AARP membership and going with real men that look good on my arm...


The Blonde has a steady grip!

4.13.2011

Candy Store Dating

That is what online dating is, Its a candy store with too much candy and you keep eating your way through until all the good candy is gone.

But your so addicted to it that you will start sampling the candy you don't like thinking liquorice might turn out tasting like sweet tarts.

Online dating is a pez dispenser.

The dispenser is fun but the candy is the same and it sucks.

Insanity is doing the same thing over expecting different results.

I hate pez, I hate liquorice, and I am sick of eating the crap candy online.

I lasted all of 3 days on MM before deleting my profile.

Get out of the candy store. Go to the park and play, fly a kite, do anything but the same old routine that has never produced a lick of good results.


The Blonde's candy turned sour!

Oie



Oie is french for goose.

Oie vay is what I say when my Mom asks me to babysit her newest project.

She is raising baby geese for fun before she sends them back to her friends farm.

Its one thing to see my food wrapped in cellophane in the isle next to my wine. But when my food follows me around the yard and tweets at me and sleeps on my lap...suddenly...I am not hungry any more.

I just hope to God the neighborhood associations puts their foot down on baby cows.

I would hate to not wear leather again!!


The Blonde is not going to eat poultry ever again.

My cats, on the other hand, are trying to figure out how to get the grille working as I type.