...is the magic genie lantern for the Chinese looking to rub a few dollars off Americans.
It is a bold in your face, screw you website.
I have tried to order wholesale but you do not get wholesale prices.
And shipping becomes ridiculous.
I tried to order sample suits for my kini shop and the one shop quoted me a fair price on samples but told me the fabric in the pictures was not available.
OK, so I pay fro sub-standard kini fabric.
Then they try to charge $200 for 36 kini samples.
Seriously, did I fall off a rice cart in Hong Kong?!
No, I did not.
I f I pay $200 shipping for 36 kinis, what is my shipping going to be on a mass scale...say 1500 kinis?
I don't need calculus to be a genius on this transaction.
And here is the kicker....
They want me to Western Union or wire transfer the money!!
Bold face Bull-YAa!!!
Yeah, Right?!!
Let me just send you a big fat bonus for finding another idiot in the U.S.
Bling!!
It is not that hard to find them. But you missed and found me.
So, you really wasted my time and I hope, at least, I wasted yours.
You douchinese!!!
Find another sucker.
The Blonde's bottle isn't filled with stupid!!!
3.09.2011
La Classe Francaise est Faite
...pour maintentant!!
My french class is on break for the spring and while it is only for a week and a half...I feel elated!!
I have studied my little heart out and I am pulling A's and B's on the quizzes and homework. I have 3 exams that if I work hard through spring break, I will get the A's.
So my margarita and alone time on some sandy tropical isle will be replaced with a tropical screen saver and my $4.99 Cabernet from the local Stop and Shop.
Voila, ce n'est pas probleme!!
I just want to say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I can see why the kiddos are psyched about spring break...
It is an AHHHHHH moment.
And I am just in AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
The Blonde says its ahhhhhhll gooood!!!
My french class is on break for the spring and while it is only for a week and a half...I feel elated!!
I have studied my little heart out and I am pulling A's and B's on the quizzes and homework. I have 3 exams that if I work hard through spring break, I will get the A's.
So my margarita and alone time on some sandy tropical isle will be replaced with a tropical screen saver and my $4.99 Cabernet from the local Stop and Shop.
Voila, ce n'est pas probleme!!
I just want to say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I can see why the kiddos are psyched about spring break...
It is an AHHHHHH moment.
And I am just in AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
The Blonde says its ahhhhhhll gooood!!!
3.07.2011
The Quantum of Love
Something I used to blog about all the time has taken a back seat lately but I do have some thoughts to apply to it using algebra.
Take the sum of all his actions and subtract it from the sum of all his words.
If you end up with a positive number, your golden.
If you end up with a negative number, you need to convert that into a division against all the other negative numbers from guys and eventually you will see a losing battle.
I am on an infinity pattern to nowhere with love.
I could add some physics to the equation but that would make things look even more dismal than they already do on Planet Sole.
I have decided to jump ship and float back to reality.
Love sucks, it does not exist, and I am longing for home alone on earth.
I was a thousands leagues under water and drowning in bullshit.
I have bubbled up to the surface and its sandy beaches and margaritas on my own this spring break.
The Blonde is an island!!
Take the sum of all his actions and subtract it from the sum of all his words.
If you end up with a positive number, your golden.
If you end up with a negative number, you need to convert that into a division against all the other negative numbers from guys and eventually you will see a losing battle.
I am on an infinity pattern to nowhere with love.
I could add some physics to the equation but that would make things look even more dismal than they already do on Planet Sole.
I have decided to jump ship and float back to reality.
Love sucks, it does not exist, and I am longing for home alone on earth.
I was a thousands leagues under water and drowning in bullshit.
I have bubbled up to the surface and its sandy beaches and margaritas on my own this spring break.
The Blonde is an island!!
I'm Sporting Double Ds
...and not in a good way.
I just scored another D on my french exam. I am two for two on the Ds.
If I were referring to plastic surgery, I would have the prettiest matching pair of double Ds this side of the french quarter.
I have had about all I can take with losing 2 points on my exam for every little missing accent over the e.
Accent grav
Circum flex
Vlah de francais de blah!!!
It isn't that I don't know the rules.
Never two infinitives together!
You can't have aller with a past participle unless your crazy!
'Y' is not a where but a preposition that needs a conjugated verb and in absence of that, place before the infinitive.
How stupid can one be not to understand the rules of french?!
Its so simple!!
Il est facile!!
I think....
Who knows any more.
C'est impossible!
Maybe some English tunes will inspire...
Conductor..a 'D' note please!!
Tutor in the morning, Tutor in the evening...
Tutor at supper time...
la la laaaa
la la
If I can't learn french, I am toast and my law degree is slime!!
F&$#@
la dee da da daaaaaaa!
I would like a life beyond etudier pour francais classe!!!!!
The Blonde is about to F U this course!!
I just scored another D on my french exam. I am two for two on the Ds.
If I were referring to plastic surgery, I would have the prettiest matching pair of double Ds this side of the french quarter.
I have had about all I can take with losing 2 points on my exam for every little missing accent over the e.
Accent grav
Circum flex
Vlah de francais de blah!!!
It isn't that I don't know the rules.
Never two infinitives together!
You can't have aller with a past participle unless your crazy!
'Y' is not a where but a preposition that needs a conjugated verb and in absence of that, place before the infinitive.
How stupid can one be not to understand the rules of french?!
Its so simple!!
Il est facile!!
I think....
Who knows any more.
C'est impossible!
Maybe some English tunes will inspire...
Conductor..a 'D' note please!!
Tutor in the morning, Tutor in the evening...
Tutor at supper time...
la la laaaa
la la
If I can't learn french, I am toast and my law degree is slime!!
F&$#@
la dee da da daaaaaaa!
I would like a life beyond etudier pour francais classe!!!!!
The Blonde is about to F U this course!!
3.06.2011
My Car Screams Loser!
I have a 95 jaguar vanden plas that I am not bragging about. The car looks like it got caught in a can opener on the right side and riddled by rubber bullets on the other side.
The trunk paint was fading so I glued a rubber bike matt on to hide the paint fade but it eventually whipped off in the wind and my long haired coon cat used it as a bathing salon one summer leaving fur glued permanently to the trunk hood.
Some days, I can get by not getting upset about the look of this once pretty car but on other days, especially when passing by all the nice new euro cars in the neighborhood, I have to just hold my head up high and act like I don't care just so I wont cry about it.
The one side was completely scraped off by two separate downtown instances involving too small a space and two giant asshole Texas trucks blocking my way.
I hope gas gets to $4 and their giant fuel traps consume mountains of expensive ethanol.
Anyhoo,
I was going to wash it today but what's the point. All I will do is see more of the disaster under the dirt.
Don't get down
Don't get down
Don't get down....
Oops...too late.
Thanks big yellow ferarri for driving by my car.
Made me feel great, not!
The Blonde is trying not to lose it!
The trunk paint was fading so I glued a rubber bike matt on to hide the paint fade but it eventually whipped off in the wind and my long haired coon cat used it as a bathing salon one summer leaving fur glued permanently to the trunk hood.
Some days, I can get by not getting upset about the look of this once pretty car but on other days, especially when passing by all the nice new euro cars in the neighborhood, I have to just hold my head up high and act like I don't care just so I wont cry about it.
The one side was completely scraped off by two separate downtown instances involving too small a space and two giant asshole Texas trucks blocking my way.
I hope gas gets to $4 and their giant fuel traps consume mountains of expensive ethanol.
Anyhoo,
I was going to wash it today but what's the point. All I will do is see more of the disaster under the dirt.
Don't get down
Don't get down
Don't get down....
Oops...too late.
Thanks big yellow ferarri for driving by my car.
Made me feel great, not!
The Blonde is trying not to lose it!
Starving to Sell NOAH Vegan
http://us.ebid.net/for-sale/noah-vegan-italian-eco-style-handbag-brown-39041318.htm
Since I am running out of my designer clothes and handbags to sell, I decided to purchase a pallet of NOAH Vegan handbags to sell on my new ebid.net site.
Ebay fees are killing me. When added up, they are taking 20% of every thing I sell.
And when your a tiny store...
Anyhoo,
I am on ebid.net under burlapbikini now.
I hope I do well enough to maybe eat this week.
I really love these handbags. I like being stylish and knowing
the NO Animal Harmed mantra went into these fabulous totes and bags.
The Blonde is looking to save herself and Mother Earth!!
3.04.2011
I Don't Play Puppet
...to someone who wants a relationship with no strings attached.
And anyone looking for a long distance relationship, is in fact, only looking for a no strings attached relationship.
I have had my fill of these go no where, try to tug at your heart, bologne affairs.
I have no time.
I have no patience.
I have reached my entertainment value zenith.
I am happy, man-out of the game.
Maybe, I should apply to BYU just to get my 'no man' game on in full gear.
Yeah, right!!
Let's be serious...
I think BYU found an unsuspecting victim to pull their own agenda and they are targeting a key player to pull in media.
Where is Jesse Jackson when you need him?
Everyone gets played; let's hope the key players tugging at the strings of the innocent get to pay their karmic dues soon.
The Blonde will yank hard on her own!!
And anyone looking for a long distance relationship, is in fact, only looking for a no strings attached relationship.
I have had my fill of these go no where, try to tug at your heart, bologne affairs.
I have no time.
I have no patience.
I have reached my entertainment value zenith.
I am happy, man-out of the game.
Maybe, I should apply to BYU just to get my 'no man' game on in full gear.
Yeah, right!!
Let's be serious...
I think BYU found an unsuspecting victim to pull their own agenda and they are targeting a key player to pull in media.
Where is Jesse Jackson when you need him?
Everyone gets played; let's hope the key players tugging at the strings of the innocent get to pay their karmic dues soon.
The Blonde will yank hard on her own!!
3.02.2011
White Dildo Goes Balistic
I went to school and as usual had to look for parking. I was excited to find one adjacent to my building.
I stopped normally, noticed someone behind me and as a good will gesture, rolled down my window and signaled with my hand for them to go around so they would not have to wait for me to do a uy-ee.
All of the sudden I heard loud forceful yelling.
I look behind me and there, right behind me, is a giant plastic didlo screaming at me to move.
OK....
First, you giant plastic dildo...I have to ask what compelled you to buy a white cruiser bike and white helmet?
Did Mommie not let you play with CHIPs action figures when you were young?
Do you have a secret crush on Eric Estrada?
Then I have to ask myself....
Do you really expect me to listen to your freakness?
Ahhh.. that would be a big 10-NO!!!
I stuck my head out the window to say I was trying to park but this road rage prig was too busy playing psycho dialogue in his head.
He finally went around.
And then, some biatch parked in my place.
At this point, it was too funny, I was too tired to care, and I had bigger things on my plate...
stll, I was gonna say something...
I waited for her to get out of her car.
"I was waiting for that spot. Did you not see my blinker on and the psycho behind me screaming because I stopped in the middle of a campus road for that spot?"
She says, "Oh gosh, no..."
Why I expected her to respect her surroundings will lead into my next story about college idiots.
OK so I say,
"What ever..It's a pretty day and I need to walk off the double douche I just got, anyway."
I go up the street and the giant plastic dildo is following me.
At this point, I don't have time to play and so I simply put my arm out the window with my phone in hand and tell the giant dildo I called the police.
Of course like any real prick without balls, he took off!!!
The Blonde is tired of playing without balls!!
I stopped normally, noticed someone behind me and as a good will gesture, rolled down my window and signaled with my hand for them to go around so they would not have to wait for me to do a uy-ee.
All of the sudden I heard loud forceful yelling.
I look behind me and there, right behind me, is a giant plastic didlo screaming at me to move.
OK....
First, you giant plastic dildo...I have to ask what compelled you to buy a white cruiser bike and white helmet?
Did Mommie not let you play with CHIPs action figures when you were young?
Do you have a secret crush on Eric Estrada?
Then I have to ask myself....
Do you really expect me to listen to your freakness?
Ahhh.. that would be a big 10-NO!!!
I stuck my head out the window to say I was trying to park but this road rage prig was too busy playing psycho dialogue in his head.
He finally went around.
And then, some biatch parked in my place.
At this point, it was too funny, I was too tired to care, and I had bigger things on my plate...
stll, I was gonna say something...
I waited for her to get out of her car.
"I was waiting for that spot. Did you not see my blinker on and the psycho behind me screaming because I stopped in the middle of a campus road for that spot?"
She says, "Oh gosh, no..."
Why I expected her to respect her surroundings will lead into my next story about college idiots.
OK so I say,
"What ever..It's a pretty day and I need to walk off the double douche I just got, anyway."
I go up the street and the giant plastic dildo is following me.
At this point, I don't have time to play and so I simply put my arm out the window with my phone in hand and tell the giant dildo I called the police.
Of course like any real prick without balls, he took off!!!
The Blonde is tired of playing without balls!!
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