Party until your panties drop but don't take that drink on the road.
The life you save might be a Blondes.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
12.31.2010
HAPPY F$#@&**N NEW YEARS!!
Party until your panties drop but don't take that drink on the road.
The life you save might be a Blondes.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
12.19.2010
The Pretty Cookies
...are not for me!!
Nope!
Treated like the unwanted stepchild left over from a second marriage, I was told to eat only the horribly disfigured mutant cookies.
It would be one thing if the cookies were for guests or for presents but nope, they are just there to look pretty in the cookie jar.
Eventually the cookie jar will disappear as my Mother systematically tries to hide the pretty cookies still assuming we fall for her holiday scams.
When asked where the pretty cookies went...she will simply say that they are for freinds and she needs to pack them and mail them.
Of course the undisclosed location is for their safety...right!!
The pretty cookies will never get mailed.
They will however show up in cars and bedrooms as little crumbs of there former cookie self.
I am so used to the Christmas scam that I didn't even blink an eye when I asked for a gingerbread house which disappeared right after she gave me a laundry list of fake people she is giving them too.
I have know idea where the ginger houses disappeared too but seeing as they will be difficult for Mo' to consume the entire gingerbread hood before spring....
...the ant trail will eventually clue me in after the turn of the New Year!!
The Blonde is keeping with tradition!!
Nope!
Treated like the unwanted stepchild left over from a second marriage, I was told to eat only the horribly disfigured mutant cookies.
It would be one thing if the cookies were for guests or for presents but nope, they are just there to look pretty in the cookie jar.
Eventually the cookie jar will disappear as my Mother systematically tries to hide the pretty cookies still assuming we fall for her holiday scams.
When asked where the pretty cookies went...she will simply say that they are for freinds and she needs to pack them and mail them.
Of course the undisclosed location is for their safety...right!!
The pretty cookies will never get mailed.
They will however show up in cars and bedrooms as little crumbs of there former cookie self.
I am so used to the Christmas scam that I didn't even blink an eye when I asked for a gingerbread house which disappeared right after she gave me a laundry list of fake people she is giving them too.
I have know idea where the ginger houses disappeared too but seeing as they will be difficult for Mo' to consume the entire gingerbread hood before spring....
...the ant trail will eventually clue me in after the turn of the New Year!!
The Blonde is keeping with tradition!!
12.15.2010
What Flatulence!!
I went to Neiman Marcus to pick out some christmas favors and low and behold did to my wandering nose appear?
Making my eyes water up as if they caught winter wonderdust?
Someone ripped a huge one in between the glass entry way of the store letting the sun bake in and heat the odor to a remarkably potent stench.
Open the second glass doors and the waft of perfume mixed with the fartabulous that almost brought me to my knees!!
What the F?
For fart that is..
What kind of jack arse does this sort of thing?
I can only think of one and duh, wouldn;t you know..it would be someone I went out with.
We went to the Celtics / Lakers game and in the elevator crammed full of body heat, he rips a silencer.
I knew it was him even if his face stayed plain as day. After all, he was my date.
Who else would be such a putz?
Anyhoo,
I left Neimans unable to take the vibrant mix of holiday arse spirits.
The Blonde hopes this season you keep your hot air to yourself!!!
Making my eyes water up as if they caught winter wonderdust?
Someone ripped a huge one in between the glass entry way of the store letting the sun bake in and heat the odor to a remarkably potent stench.
Open the second glass doors and the waft of perfume mixed with the fartabulous that almost brought me to my knees!!
What the F?
For fart that is..
What kind of jack arse does this sort of thing?
I can only think of one and duh, wouldn;t you know..it would be someone I went out with.
We went to the Celtics / Lakers game and in the elevator crammed full of body heat, he rips a silencer.
I knew it was him even if his face stayed plain as day. After all, he was my date.
Who else would be such a putz?
Anyhoo,
I left Neimans unable to take the vibrant mix of holiday arse spirits.
The Blonde hopes this season you keep your hot air to yourself!!!
12.09.2010
Its Over!!
Fall semester did not close with a bang but more a close 'C' thud.
I pulled off a 3.5 GPA but I need a 3.7 to close the deal on law school.
I will make a point not to sign up for dating sites next semester.
Dating is too damn time consuming.
Shaving
Shopping
Make up
Hair
Nails
blah, blah, blah.....
It takes at least 3 hours to pull your look together for potential boyfriends.
10 dates x 3 hours = a crap load of time taken away each week from studying.
I am simplifying next semester.
I have my classes and my 2 men booked for the semester.
Now I can relax and enjoy my holiday season .
Look out Apsen, here I come!!
The Blonde is booked solid!!!
I pulled off a 3.5 GPA but I need a 3.7 to close the deal on law school.
I will make a point not to sign up for dating sites next semester.
Dating is too damn time consuming.
Shaving
Shopping
Make up
Hair
Nails
blah, blah, blah.....
It takes at least 3 hours to pull your look together for potential boyfriends.
10 dates x 3 hours = a crap load of time taken away each week from studying.
I am simplifying next semester.
I have my classes and my 2 men booked for the semester.
Now I can relax and enjoy my holiday season .
Look out Apsen, here I come!!
The Blonde is booked solid!!!
12.05.2010
The Ups and Downs of 69
I am not one to blab about the boudoire or what happens inside other than a bit of generality and I am not about to start.
I do, however, do like to get in creative debates during happy hour with friends and since politics and religion is taboo and absolute no fun...sex is the next best thing.
We settled on the topic of karma sutra and how do crazy positions, while spice thing up, and keeps the bed from a bore fest, ultimately is just plain stupid.
At least that was my argument.
How the he--double hockey sticks do you concentrate on one end while the other end is being worked on.
It can't be done to equal satisfaction, something has to give.
If anyone is screaming for pleasure they certainly aren't working the sucking vortex you need to make the other one moan.
I just think there are better ways of using positions, like moving your arse to a hot tub, shower, or outside under the moon.
There are 72 positions in the karma sutra and this is only one.
I hold my tongue until I try the rest.
That's the Blondes position on things!!
I do, however, do like to get in creative debates during happy hour with friends and since politics and religion is taboo and absolute no fun...sex is the next best thing.
We settled on the topic of karma sutra and how do crazy positions, while spice thing up, and keeps the bed from a bore fest, ultimately is just plain stupid.
At least that was my argument.
How the he--double hockey sticks do you concentrate on one end while the other end is being worked on.
It can't be done to equal satisfaction, something has to give.
If anyone is screaming for pleasure they certainly aren't working the sucking vortex you need to make the other one moan.
I just think there are better ways of using positions, like moving your arse to a hot tub, shower, or outside under the moon.
There are 72 positions in the karma sutra and this is only one.
I hold my tongue until I try the rest.
That's the Blondes position on things!!
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