I may or may not have had a little tantrum last night of which I blogged about but quickly erased this morning.
Had a certain someone not contact me about a certain idea I was interested in, the point would be mute but after being contacted by that someone and reading up on the press releases and seeing a certain head of spoiled meat having part in that idea; I now have to strategically plan that the idea, I can not participate in, not be given away so easily to a bunch of spoiled brats with no real desire for anything other than more money.
Where is the Dalai Lama when I need him?
He should be the face of the eco domain and not Al Bore (click and learn) who preaches but doesn't practice!
I think doteco should go to a company that believes in giving back, say 10% of the profit to save the planet. How about Tom's Shoes? Have him apply for it. We can all chip in and raise the funds for him.
The Blonde wants a better deal!!
5.12.2009
5.11.2009
Here She Comes Again
walking down the hall
la la la lala
While I try to write
la la lala
she is talking up a storm
la la lala la
la la
la la di da
MOM!!!!!!
One thing about being a boomeranger that works from home is the fact that the parents do not recognize the work as actual employment but rather an opportunity to annoy their daughter with rhetoric not pertaining to said daughter.
I am working!!
Oh, oh, sorry...did you see the new vase I bought.
Mother, I am in the middle of something, please?
But of course dear, I won't bother you again.
Thank you
Just come and look at the vase, its very old. Your Father will die if he knows I bought it.
I will when I am done!
Oh, oh OK
La la lala di da
From the other side of my door, I hear an argument.
What did you buy now, woman?!
Nothing Dear, its just a vase from the store.
mumble, mumble, screaming, yelling, door slam....
pitter patter of blonde footsteps....
la la la uh oh la
my door opens
Did you hear what your Father said? He didn't even see the vase.
Did you look at my vase?
No Mother, I did not, I was trying to finish my work that pays for my car, that I will need, in the event of my mental breakdown, in order to drive myself to the loony bin and finish my work from a padded cell!
Oh, OK, when your done...come look at the vase.
No doubt, The Blonde is back at home!!!
la la la lala
While I try to write
la la lala
she is talking up a storm
la la lala la
la la
la la di da
MOM!!!!!!
One thing about being a boomeranger that works from home is the fact that the parents do not recognize the work as actual employment but rather an opportunity to annoy their daughter with rhetoric not pertaining to said daughter.
I am working!!
Oh, oh, sorry...did you see the new vase I bought.
Mother, I am in the middle of something, please?
But of course dear, I won't bother you again.
Thank you
Just come and look at the vase, its very old. Your Father will die if he knows I bought it.
I will when I am done!
Oh, oh OK
La la lala di da
From the other side of my door, I hear an argument.
What did you buy now, woman?!
Nothing Dear, its just a vase from the store.
mumble, mumble, screaming, yelling, door slam....
pitter patter of blonde footsteps....
la la la uh oh la
my door opens
Did you hear what your Father said? He didn't even see the vase.
Did you look at my vase?
No Mother, I did not, I was trying to finish my work that pays for my car, that I will need, in the event of my mental breakdown, in order to drive myself to the loony bin and finish my work from a padded cell!
Oh, OK, when your done...come look at the vase.
No doubt, The Blonde is back at home!!!
Blonde Summer Beauty tips
Wraps over a bikini is a poor excuse for not toning up the thighs for summer. If your lazy and can't get out of the house for exercise, at least buy some Doctor Scholls to help tone the back of thighs and calves while walking around your casa.
Another easy thing to do, is put down the Pinot Grigio. Ladies, if you watch the NY Housewives series, check out just how damaging white wine is to a figure by oogling the waist and thighs of Ramona. She is an avid gym guru and still can't keep a girlish figure when downing the high sugar content in her daily wine ritual. She may not have plumped out to the size of the Sopranos but she is getting there.
Betheny is too neurotic and her skinny may have something to do with tossing her skinny girl cookies after the show, and Kelly girl, seems to be flying high on diet pills, so take a healthy route to your summer bod and just cut out the sugars and add a little exercise.
If you wait a little longer I will be coming out with my sexercise line of toys like the 'hippety hump me' and the 'resistant desk chair'. No reason you should sit at work all day when you can have an option of tweaking your bum with a chair that forces you to press down on it to keep it from rising up every time you type. The 'hippety hump me' may not be suitable for the office considering it has a special something to keep you riding an orgasm to slimmer thighs but you can bounce your way to happiness while watching the Jersey Housewives coming up this May.
Life for a blonde is all about looking good and feeling good no matter what you do. But what you do should be fun.
Blondes are shaping up for hot weather!!
Another easy thing to do, is put down the Pinot Grigio. Ladies, if you watch the NY Housewives series, check out just how damaging white wine is to a figure by oogling the waist and thighs of Ramona. She is an avid gym guru and still can't keep a girlish figure when downing the high sugar content in her daily wine ritual. She may not have plumped out to the size of the Sopranos but she is getting there.
Betheny is too neurotic and her skinny may have something to do with tossing her skinny girl cookies after the show, and Kelly girl, seems to be flying high on diet pills, so take a healthy route to your summer bod and just cut out the sugars and add a little exercise.
If you wait a little longer I will be coming out with my sexercise line of toys like the 'hippety hump me' and the 'resistant desk chair'. No reason you should sit at work all day when you can have an option of tweaking your bum with a chair that forces you to press down on it to keep it from rising up every time you type. The 'hippety hump me' may not be suitable for the office considering it has a special something to keep you riding an orgasm to slimmer thighs but you can bounce your way to happiness while watching the Jersey Housewives coming up this May.
Life for a blonde is all about looking good and feeling good no matter what you do. But what you do should be fun.
Blondes are shaping up for hot weather!!
5.07.2009
5.06.2009
Biatch Ain't Blonde
I knew Carrie Prejean was not a true blonde!! Her ambition is as clear as her dark roots.Being ignorantly persuaded by a book of fables to outcast anyone isn't a blonde trait but rather a blind one.
Perez Hilton, who is also an opportunistic bleach blonde biatch, is granted my reprieve this one time because he is fighting for a real cause; the equality of a genetically based attribute condemned by church and society as a detriment to marriage and completely bogus.
Gay men and women can't change who they are any more than a zebra could wish his stripes away by rubbing up against a tree.
Do you really think gay children would choose a life that makes them hide who they are? Do you think they would choose to be beaten and ostracized because they were different? Do you think, maybe, Perez' anger is built from a life long torture of unacceptance?
This is the teaching of the bible, not the word of God.
Blondes would never throw a stone!
5.05.2009
Ho Jo's
The Blonde is about as street smart as Bubble boy.
I learned exactly how far from the hood I grew up on a recent trip through some of the seedier towns of Texas.
I went on Hotel.com to purchase a ticket for a hotel in the cattlelac world 6 hours north of bum frack Texas.
Seeing their wasn't a decent hotel I had to choose a motel that I thought would be safe and clean. I chose one with a name I actually heard of; Howard Johnsons. I booked a room after seeing it had a rating of 3.2, a whole point above the others. I did not bother to read the comments which was my first mistake, the second was booking a single queen.
I packed clean sheets and towels and a pair of flip flops. I may be Blonde but I am not on a suicide mission to pick up some disease from improperly cleaned rooms and seeing the prices of the motels, I was certain I would need an extra can of Lysol and rubber mits.
Howard Johnson is far from the hotel I remember as a young girl on our family drives to nowhere to have one of our ice cream treats for suffering hours of my Father's show tunes and military marching music in the car.
I thought Ho Jo's was just a clever shortcut of the name but actually its ghetto tongue for Ho's doing Jo's. When I arrived, I noticed the picture on Hotel.com was older than some of the photos of guys on match.com. The place was run down and next to a stripper club. I was greeted at the desk by a chunky Latino girl who had a grin on her face the entire time I was checking in. I would soon learn later, why.
She asked for my drivers license and passed me a key, telling me since I ordered a queen bed that my room was at the back end of the hotel. I drove back and parked in front of my door hopping the parking hump to get my bumper as close to the door as possibly imaginable.
It was late and I was tired from the 6 hours of drive time. I just wanted to go to sleep. I carefully peeled the sheets of the bed and placed mine down. I moved the ice box in front of the door to protect myself and went to sleep.
Around 2 in the morning, I heard knocking on the doors outside my room and then knocking on mine. I thought someone made a mistake and was looking for someone else. Than, knocking started half an hour later, again going down the line and ending up knocking on mine. This happened about 4 times between the hours of 2 and 4 am. By that time, I am thinking what the F bomb.
I would have called the front desk but that would have entailed me touching the phone and i decided I rather not since I am not sure if Lysol would penetrate the germ fest crawling all over my room. I just stayed tightly tucked into my sheets on the very edge of the bed and slept with my eyes open until 9 am.
I never took the flip flops off my feet since the carpet was sticky and I peed like a squatting monkey never letting anything from the room touch me. I quickly got the heck out of that place.
Later in the morning I met up with Boo and Ferret for a pancake fest at a local diner, they street wisely advised me, after the hysterical laughter and bits of pancake stopped flying out of their mouths, that I booked a room on what is known as hooker row.
What is hooker row?
Its the rooms that hookers rent out. That is why you never book a single queen bed.
But why would I want two doubles, its just me?
Trust us, pay the extra for the second bed.
Ok...and the knocking?
that was dudes looking to score.
Holy Crap, no way!
To make me feel better, Boo said the sweetest thing. He said that I shouldn't worry because I am good enough to be a thousand dollar call girl.
A few minutes more of laughter and flying pancake bits later, it hit me.
I touched the remote control!!!
The Blonde has been hand sanitizing ever since!!!
I learned exactly how far from the hood I grew up on a recent trip through some of the seedier towns of Texas.
I went on Hotel.com to purchase a ticket for a hotel in the cattlelac world 6 hours north of bum frack Texas.
Seeing their wasn't a decent hotel I had to choose a motel that I thought would be safe and clean. I chose one with a name I actually heard of; Howard Johnsons. I booked a room after seeing it had a rating of 3.2, a whole point above the others. I did not bother to read the comments which was my first mistake, the second was booking a single queen.
I packed clean sheets and towels and a pair of flip flops. I may be Blonde but I am not on a suicide mission to pick up some disease from improperly cleaned rooms and seeing the prices of the motels, I was certain I would need an extra can of Lysol and rubber mits.
Howard Johnson is far from the hotel I remember as a young girl on our family drives to nowhere to have one of our ice cream treats for suffering hours of my Father's show tunes and military marching music in the car.
I thought Ho Jo's was just a clever shortcut of the name but actually its ghetto tongue for Ho's doing Jo's. When I arrived, I noticed the picture on Hotel.com was older than some of the photos of guys on match.com. The place was run down and next to a stripper club. I was greeted at the desk by a chunky Latino girl who had a grin on her face the entire time I was checking in. I would soon learn later, why.
She asked for my drivers license and passed me a key, telling me since I ordered a queen bed that my room was at the back end of the hotel. I drove back and parked in front of my door hopping the parking hump to get my bumper as close to the door as possibly imaginable.
It was late and I was tired from the 6 hours of drive time. I just wanted to go to sleep. I carefully peeled the sheets of the bed and placed mine down. I moved the ice box in front of the door to protect myself and went to sleep.
Around 2 in the morning, I heard knocking on the doors outside my room and then knocking on mine. I thought someone made a mistake and was looking for someone else. Than, knocking started half an hour later, again going down the line and ending up knocking on mine. This happened about 4 times between the hours of 2 and 4 am. By that time, I am thinking what the F bomb.
I would have called the front desk but that would have entailed me touching the phone and i decided I rather not since I am not sure if Lysol would penetrate the germ fest crawling all over my room. I just stayed tightly tucked into my sheets on the very edge of the bed and slept with my eyes open until 9 am.
I never took the flip flops off my feet since the carpet was sticky and I peed like a squatting monkey never letting anything from the room touch me. I quickly got the heck out of that place.
Later in the morning I met up with Boo and Ferret for a pancake fest at a local diner, they street wisely advised me, after the hysterical laughter and bits of pancake stopped flying out of their mouths, that I booked a room on what is known as hooker row.
What is hooker row?
Its the rooms that hookers rent out. That is why you never book a single queen bed.
But why would I want two doubles, its just me?
Trust us, pay the extra for the second bed.
Ok...and the knocking?
that was dudes looking to score.
Holy Crap, no way!
To make me feel better, Boo said the sweetest thing. He said that I shouldn't worry because I am good enough to be a thousand dollar call girl.
A few minutes more of laughter and flying pancake bits later, it hit me.
I touched the remote control!!!
The Blonde has been hand sanitizing ever since!!!
5.02.2009
Mine That Bird Winner of 135th Kentucky Derby
My sentimental favorite General Quarters came in 12th and Mr Hot Stuff, which I tanked since he lost his original rider, came in behind Desert Party.
The Blonde didn't have a hat to attend!!
5.01.2009
Blonde Battles Flu
I am still stuck with lung gunk and while I thoroughly enjoyed my yesterday, its put me back in bed today. Since I am not perky enough to write about Big Daddy milking his illness, I am reverting to photos of my outings in Austin for your pleasure until I am completely back to my blondeness again.
The Blonde is resting!!
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