I am just not posting at the moment. Give me a day to download my new material..
I am a Gay Man in a Woman's Body
Texas Needs Babysitters, Seriously
..and I totally had a wicked Blonde Moment
all yours to read if you stick with me through this writing crisis!!!
Blondes hate being blocked in!!!
9.28.2008
9.25.2008
No Pay
Craigslist really needs to add a 'No Pay' sub-category to their site.
I know there must be a huge slew of folks wanting to spend their gas money driving to and fro from a job that offers absolutely no benefit except for a pat on the back and all the junk food you can scarf down to help you ruin a girlish figure.
I worked for free on several indie shorts, and in the spirit of paying back the favor, I should offer free advertising on my blog. But really, didn't I already provide them a favor?! We're even!
Unless your an actor or actress, or are an integral part of a lighting crew, or man a camera, or building references; playing PA on a film has no real pay out. You won't work yourself up the corporate ladder making sure the lunch is set.
I could be wrong? The head of MGM just might like the way you slather mayo on his BLT, in one smooth stroke, enough to think you would be an asset in his business development office as a schmoozer.
The jobs that are offered for free aren't ones that warrant any respect nor any tutelage other than what you can gather on your own by standing around and listening from a distance of 20ft. away. Being a lowly PA does not warrant being up close and personal with the director, no matter how unfamous he is or will remain to be.
I learned that even on little sets that produce little movies with little budgets, big heads exist!!
If you really want to learn how films are done, take some classes in film or better yet, hire an excellent crew, who know what they are doing, and just become a Director!
As far as being a PA...from what I know, taking out the trash doesn't do anything for anyone's career unless they are a janitor!!
Blondes are worth every dime!!
I know there must be a huge slew of folks wanting to spend their gas money driving to and fro from a job that offers absolutely no benefit except for a pat on the back and all the junk food you can scarf down to help you ruin a girlish figure.
I worked for free on several indie shorts, and in the spirit of paying back the favor, I should offer free advertising on my blog. But really, didn't I already provide them a favor?! We're even!
Unless your an actor or actress, or are an integral part of a lighting crew, or man a camera, or building references; playing PA on a film has no real pay out. You won't work yourself up the corporate ladder making sure the lunch is set.
I could be wrong? The head of MGM just might like the way you slather mayo on his BLT, in one smooth stroke, enough to think you would be an asset in his business development office as a schmoozer.
The jobs that are offered for free aren't ones that warrant any respect nor any tutelage other than what you can gather on your own by standing around and listening from a distance of 20ft. away. Being a lowly PA does not warrant being up close and personal with the director, no matter how unfamous he is or will remain to be.
I learned that even on little sets that produce little movies with little budgets, big heads exist!!
If you really want to learn how films are done, take some classes in film or better yet, hire an excellent crew, who know what they are doing, and just become a Director!
As far as being a PA...from what I know, taking out the trash doesn't do anything for anyone's career unless they are a janitor!!
Blondes are worth every dime!!
9.24.2008
Dear Parents
...of children under the age of 8.
Please understand that restaurants are not daycares with drinks. Your children do not need to be running around, screaming and playing tag while you blissfully filter out the noise you are so used to hearing on a daily basis.
I and every other customer do not have this ability to ignore high pitched screeches from little girls as big brother pulls on their ponytail as they dash around our tables. Nor do we laugh when they knock into the table and spill our frozen margaritas making everything sticky.
I am not a babysitter nor a bathroom attendant in a dacyare pottie. I would appreciate you accompany your little ones to the lue. I realize its extremely fun to bat the toilet paper until it comes off the role, my cats love it too!! That is the very reason cats aren't allowed in restaurants; you can't control them. Their manners are atrocious. You can't teach a cat to be polite and act accordingly without them thwacking you with a claw and laughing hysterically at you.
On the other hand, parents can be taught!! Some parents need to learn that society is made up of everyone and being respectful of others is the first lesson in teaching proper social etiquette to their children.
If you want a night out with your family, shouldn't the family be together, at the same table, all sitting down, enjoying each other?!
Blondes just want a little social change!!
Please understand that restaurants are not daycares with drinks. Your children do not need to be running around, screaming and playing tag while you blissfully filter out the noise you are so used to hearing on a daily basis.
I and every other customer do not have this ability to ignore high pitched screeches from little girls as big brother pulls on their ponytail as they dash around our tables. Nor do we laugh when they knock into the table and spill our frozen margaritas making everything sticky.
I am not a babysitter nor a bathroom attendant in a dacyare pottie. I would appreciate you accompany your little ones to the lue. I realize its extremely fun to bat the toilet paper until it comes off the role, my cats love it too!! That is the very reason cats aren't allowed in restaurants; you can't control them. Their manners are atrocious. You can't teach a cat to be polite and act accordingly without them thwacking you with a claw and laughing hysterically at you.
On the other hand, parents can be taught!! Some parents need to learn that society is made up of everyone and being respectful of others is the first lesson in teaching proper social etiquette to their children.
If you want a night out with your family, shouldn't the family be together, at the same table, all sitting down, enjoying each other?!
Blondes just want a little social change!!
9.22.2008
PA is not for Pennsylvania
I am back in Austin working as a PA on an Indie Short.
I didn't realize that standing around all day trying to be quiet would be so exhausting!!
The Blonde will be back after a brief intermission!!
I didn't realize that standing around all day trying to be quiet would be so exhausting!!
The Blonde will be back after a brief intermission!!
9.18.2008
Continental to the Rescue
Thank Gah!! Continental is offering no advance purchase specials to victims of Ike.
I have just became a victim.
After dealing with savage conditions like a broken wine opener and the fact I forgot underwear, I am forced to hand wash, on a nightly basis, the one pair of panties I wore down here and the bikini I always pack, in case of emergency. I was not in panic mode because I thought in a day or two, I could replenish with a stop to the VS.
I just learned that Victoria Secret is still closed and will not reopen for another week. Sure, food is available, even gas but nail salons and lingerie stores apparently are not a priority. Are we not civilized here?
I can live without electricity, a broken wine opener, even without air condition, but living without putting on a fresh pair of cotton boy shorts with matching bra is mandatory!!
I need to find humanity and a fresh pair!!
Thanks to my fly boys at Continental, all hope is not lost.
I am flying out on the 'no advance notice' $129, over 500 miles ( $69 under 500), that Continental is offering to Houstonians until the 19th(must be used by the Oct 1st) in search of cute cupcake endowed panties and bra!!
Blondes need sanitary conditions!!
Go Back to India
My efforts to physically partake in the animal rescue has been thwarted.
No one is allowed on Galveston Island without official business. As a volunteer, I am not offically worthy!!
People were in line on the parkway for two hours before reaching a peace officer that bluntly told them to return from whence they came. They were not allowed in to see what has happened to their homes and their belongings. Its totally understandable their anger and frustration in this regard. The peace officer was also frustrated and in one instance he through a racial out lash at an Indian man in a minivan who was a little unruly.
Hey, we all have have had to deal with an unruly Indian man at one time or another whenever we have a credit dispute and our credit card company directs us overseas to deal with it but that doesn't make anyone want to throw disrespect their way.
Your a civil servant trying to keep the peace. If you can't handle being civilized in the midst of chaos, you don't deserve your badge!!
After dealing with a day long affair of bad juju in the air, it was time to blow off some steam at a local pub in the Woodlands.
After a few much needed Pinots, it was time for me to use the ladies lue. Imagine my frustration when I saw the sign pointing to a bookcase.
While I was waiting under the sign for some magical door to reveal itself, another patron came by and swung open the bookcase.
Poof!!
Magic!!
I feel like an idiot!!
Duh!!
When I got back to my table there was a slue of peace officers obviously looking for someone. They headed to the restrooms and stood under the same sign as I did, looking just as puzzled as I did.
All I could think about is how ironic the situation was.
The Indian dude followed the signs only to be frustrated not to find a way in too!!
Blondes aren't the only ones that are dumb!!
No one is allowed on Galveston Island without official business. As a volunteer, I am not offically worthy!!
People were in line on the parkway for two hours before reaching a peace officer that bluntly told them to return from whence they came. They were not allowed in to see what has happened to their homes and their belongings. Its totally understandable their anger and frustration in this regard. The peace officer was also frustrated and in one instance he through a racial out lash at an Indian man in a minivan who was a little unruly.
Hey, we all have have had to deal with an unruly Indian man at one time or another whenever we have a credit dispute and our credit card company directs us overseas to deal with it but that doesn't make anyone want to throw disrespect their way.
Your a civil servant trying to keep the peace. If you can't handle being civilized in the midst of chaos, you don't deserve your badge!!
After dealing with a day long affair of bad juju in the air, it was time to blow off some steam at a local pub in the Woodlands.
After a few much needed Pinots, it was time for me to use the ladies lue. Imagine my frustration when I saw the sign pointing to a bookcase.
While I was waiting under the sign for some magical door to reveal itself, another patron came by and swung open the bookcase.
Poof!!
Magic!!
I feel like an idiot!!
Duh!!
When I got back to my table there was a slue of peace officers obviously looking for someone. They headed to the restrooms and stood under the same sign as I did, looking just as puzzled as I did.
All I could think about is how ironic the situation was.
The Indian dude followed the signs only to be frustrated not to find a way in too!!
Blondes aren't the only ones that are dumb!!
9.17.2008
Helping the Cows Come Home
...and every other animal that has been displaced by the storm is on my agenda today but they do not need more volunteers, they do however need donations. Even a $5 donation will help.
Over a thousand horses and cows have drowned but there are at least 15,000 still needing help.
As far as helping animals over humans?
Its no contest for me this time especially after seeing the behavior of people who feel they are owed a generator so they can have air conditioning to watch their daytime television!!
You can live without television and air conditioning for a few days!!
At least you have a house!!
Help out someone that doesn't gripe the world owes them something because they got left behind in the storm!!
Habitat for Horses
Houston SPCA
Blondes are donating to the Redneck Education Fund!!
Double Ikes!!
The mounties and the gates are guarding the gas pumps trying to keep people in line, literally and figuratively. There was one woman who blocked the pump because she refused to pay for premium..unfortunately premium was all that was left. I don't know what happened to that situation because my focus quickly moved to the grocery store.
I looked in the carts of shoppers and my mouth was barely able to remain quiet.
Is it really that important to rush out of your house to grab four cases of soda?
What?
Are you afraid you giant Houstonian arse might widdle away without its daily recommended 250 grams of sugar carbs?
The obese population of Houston ( #4 on the city of fatties list) loves their fast food and no natural disaster is going to stop them from woofing down on a double bacon flamed broiled whopper while their cars burn the very gas everyone is waiting in line for, waiting in the drive thru.
Can you say Super Size Me, Stupid!!
The Blonde knows better than that!!
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