8.31.2008

My Beloved Downey Jr



I am so glad he is back in his full wonderful glory and making films. My favorite actor of all times beat drugs and came back. Every film he is in is golden.

Because of the holiday weekend and the film being out for awhile, which suit me just fine, it was incredibly empty for a city film venue.

This film was pee in the pants funny for me. It was wrong on all sorts of levels. That is why I loved it so much.
Taken in the right comedic context, it is very funny. Stiller has always been 2 blocks short of the good taste line but that is exactly why we laugh. Being uncomfortable, twist in your seat, "can't believe he just said that" feeling, helps us release the anxiety of having to be so politically correct all the time.
I could go into more detail about this subject but I am too afraid I might offend someone, and you never know when a true blonde might want to run for President!


Blondes don't draw the lines!!

Back to France


I ordered a picnic lunch from Le Pain Quotidien Bakery and Communal Table, across from Bryant Park behind the public library. I ordered a wonderful PS Turkey Club Tartine; a turkey club with sliced boiled egg and served on wheat bread instead of a baguette.

I walked across the street and settled in at a little bistro table next to the carousel in the park. The carousel played children's songs, sung in French and the entire reason I specifically searched out a French bistro in effort to keep with my theme. Next to the carousel was a small children's section of books. A beautiful place to entertain small children in this massive concrete jungle.

The delightful temperature under the shade of the massive trees was perfect. The park happily screamed of a European appeal which New York should give total thanks to the smartly planted London plane trees which is the same species of tree found at the Jardin des Tuileries in Paris.

I lingered in total bliss.

After my lunch, I scoped out the street fair on 6th, between 52nd and 56th, buying a wrap around silk frock and an aqua marine bracelet without bothering to barter the price. Their was a Brazilian fair going on near Broadway and 54th but way too crowded for this newbie. I summoned my Benz and went to my digs for a nap.

Blondes like taking little bites of the Apple!!

I Tried Italian

Full of carbs and themselves!! Needless to say, I prefer a lighter affair.

Next:

My time at the Open was well spent.

The match against Ferrer and Noshikori was outstanding! The game went the full five sets with the climatic tie breaker at the end. I feel so bad for Ferrer. They both wanted it so much it was hard to see they both could not win.

My favorite thing about being at the US Open is the lack of commentary from the television hosts. When watching via tele, the commentators tend to get on my nerves trying to fill dead air space. I fully appreciate some facts, but the forced humor and lack of warm fuzzies from retired tennis figures...NO!

The only ones I know that can pull off a good gift of gab during play is in the football arena with Howie and Terry. BTW: Redskins are playing the Giants this Thursday. I am a Redskin fan by birth (a little something, something you didn't know about me--OK, stop laughing) and my backup team will be the Jets this year because Favre is playing for them. That game is Sunday.

The other thing I love about being at the Open is the crowd, and how they embrace both players. No one walks away a loser according to those of us in the stands.
Its just a great vibe!!

Their is over 200 chefs on site to tempt your taste buds,but the prices kept my diet in tact. I am not paying $25 for a crepe.

Tonight I am going solo to see the movie 'Tropic Thunder'.


Stay tuned for the real action when I attempt public transport for the first time. I am actually going to try the subway!! I have my Benz on emergency call!!

Blondes use protection for the first time!!

8.30.2008

Walking is Fun

but being tooled around in a Benz, is better!!

On my social calendar tonight; the Open and an authentic Italian; restaurant and my date.
I will let you know how it went when I get home!!

Blondes like having a ball!!

8.29.2008

Retards

should not be born if given the choice.

WOW..I thought I was controversial but tonight, I had the distinct pleasure of someone else carrying the floor. I am all about shocking the status quo but some subjects I leave to my compatriots.

We had dinner at a wonderful french restaurant, Le Perigord on 52nd St. I had the scallop appetizer, halibut for the main course, an a grand marnier souffle for dessert.

Impeccable and amazing like only the French can do. The portions are what few Americans would appreciate. If you can take it home in a doggy bag your not eating above 5 stars.
It was superb. I ordered a Pouilly-Fuissé but instead they brought me a much finer species of wine..I wish I could remember, but I cannot. The conversation was too intriguing for me and for the couple next to us who paid close attention to Doc's opinions.

Doc did not realize it, but the couple next to us was expecting and the subject we chose to discuss was most disconcerting for them.
We or should I say he, chose to speak of terminating pregnancy based on a child with the genetic predisposition of retardation. A subject that has come to recent light with the vulgar use of the word 'retard' in the movie, "Tropic Thunder".

I am not one to shy away from such shocking topics and I found it quite liberating. For once, I was not on the chopping block of public scrutiny for my dinner commentary.

What fascinated me most about Doc's opinions is the fact that he is of jewish heritage. I assumed that he would lend a sympathetic ear to a plight such as termination based on human frailty and imperfection.

He kept using the term 'retard' and quite frankly, I was a bit shocked. I don't think I have ever heard anyone use the term for any reason since I was 8 years old. I laughed every time he said it.

I didn't laugh because it was funny; I laughed because it was uncomfortable to hear.

Quee-

Fago-

Nigge-

Do you see where just finishing the words in your head brings dis-comfort. I don't know anyone over the age of 10 that would use that word and find it funny. Anyone under the age of 10 that uses it has a grasp of the concept and they know its derogatory and hurtful and they have a lack of good parenting.

I am wondering why Jesse Jackson wasn't up in arms about Robert Downey Jr. part in the film. I think if another 'word' was blatently used...he would be!!

I understand comedy.

I don't understand this kind of comedy; nor do I understand Doc's opinion.

I don't understand the pre-selection, the pre-determination of a fetus based on predisposition to be a burden on a parent. I don't know a parent that would think any child is a burden, no matter the case.

I wonder what Darwin would have to say about all of this?


Blondes have a lot to learn about being special!!

New York, So Far



Far to walk when you get confused and have to circle several blocks to figure out where the heck your are going.

What should take 10 blocks of walking actually takes me 20 because I have to walk two blocks down or up and than two blocks left to right to see the numbers and street signs to set my course accordingly.
I have learned I can not find what I am looking for if it is on the same side of the street that I walk on so I have to cross the street, back track, and look again. This became evident when I walked passed the bank 3 times before finding it by accident.

On a positive note I am already familiar with the lay of the land at Bloomies.
I bought a killer Ed Hardy belt, Marc Jacob sunglasses, and a few Guess and Diesel t's.

It is hot walking around NY and for the most part everyone is casually dressed. I dare not wear heels until I have the cab waving perfected, and I am fairly certain I am not interested in ever using the subway. I am still a little apprehensive about public transportation.

Thank Gah, my new friend is a Doctor and has a special parking permit that allows him to park me in front of anywhere I want to go.

Yesterday I ate lunch at a Solera's at 53rd and 3rd. You think I would be a bit more clever with my eateries but it felt like home and the huge table of gorgeous Latin men in suits sitting adjacent to me made it even more appetizing.
The food was incredible. I had the flank steak and glass of vino.

Mmmm

Mmm

MMmmm

I'm sorry I was just picturing the men...the dish was fab too!!

Anyhoo,

I have secured tickets to the US Open this weekend and a young tennis stud to accompany me. I am still trying to get backstage passes to some designer shows. Apparently, just because you have a media pass, doesn't mean you get into the shows you want. Again, Doc to the rescue. his friend owns one of the top four modeling agencies in town!

Now, its off to the salon to have my nails done and home to clean up for dinner. I am thinking about wearing my sexy little L.A.M.B. floor length snake print number tonight with designer flip flops.

P.S. I have been warned not go above 96th Street because they haven't blonde-proofed it yet!!

Blondes stand out even when they blend!!

8.27.2008

Can the plane

...put a rooftop rack on its hull. I will need it for my suitcases.

I am outie by 5AM...so next time you read me, I will be reporting from the Big Apple.

Whomever came up with 3.5 oz when most things are 4 oz surely has shown an entire nation their stupidity.


Blondes need a charter!!

8.26.2008

Leave Sleeping Worms in the Can

I totally blew this guy off in Houston several weeks back. I knew he was going to Israel and would not be back for a week. I sheepishly left a message on his work phone apologizing that I could not make it last minute I that I changed my mind.

Quite frankly,

I don't know you well enough not to change my mind and feel guilty about bailing.

Anyhoo,

I guess he is back in town and wants to know why?! I am sorry but I deleted you from my phone. I left a sufficient message, now go away!!

I could not get through my pre New York work because I had a text every freaking 20 minutes from this assurance deficient dude. He seems not to take rejection well and ignores it as a way to cope. I made the mortal mistake of being nice and the freak took off with it as another opportunity to meet me.

Good you drive here, set yourself up at the Four Seasons and I will meet your freak for a drink.

Otherwise...

PHLEEB, you have been deleted!!

What do you not understand without me telling you?!

Honestly, I did go to Houston but I overbooked my dates and I had to knock the least favorable off my list. He had a couple of severe non-no's but he was persistent and wore me down and although a bit scary in his stiff European accent and demeanor, I decided, 'what the heck, I have a few hours to kill between my other dates."


On Match, he had my numero uno reason to pass on a profile; he took photos with out a shirt on without a body of water nearby, even worse he was extremely ripped and could snap a body a life size Barbie in half with little effort; in his poolside photos he sports a ball hammock instead of swim trunks--he is European so I threw him a waiver on that one but still, at the Houstonian?! If he had a photo next to his car--I would have never emailed him back.

The last and most critical error was the growth of his cro-magnum bone on his forehead showing the signs of a long relationship with steroids. And I don't need anyone going OJ on my arse and beat me to death because I failed to have fresh breath, which apparently is all he requires along with my photos to prove I would be a decent match.

And believe it or not, I forgot my toothpaste that weekend and I am certain my breath was not that fresh at all. I did have gum but someone's dog actually ate it. Come to think of it, that guy hasn't called.

Hhmmm!

Oh, well!!

Next!!!

So today, I must shut down the phone again. I am packing for my trip to NY and I am cranky since I haven't had a carb in three days and I don't want to be rude to Roidboy in fear of my pretty little head being bashed in.


Blondes only appetite is for a Big Apple!!

8.23.2008

Mercedes Benz Fashion Week

...begins September 5th through the 12th in NY and in pure Blonde fashion I will be there!!

A new city is like unleashing me in a general store. I am going to sample as much of the yummies in the proverbial glass candy jars as I can. I bought a one way ticket without plans to return to Austin other than to visit. Either Austin has outgrown me or I have outgrown Austin, not that it matters other than I can no longer be happy living here, nor happy with anyone I meet here. I do adore three men and they will remain in my phone, but the rest have already been deleted. I began detaching myself from this town long ago and I really have nothing to hold me here permanently.

When they say you can never go home again--they are right--but home has always been carried with me. I thought it was a physical place at one time in my life but in the end I have learned home really is where your heart is(sorry I couldn't spare you the cliche).

Not having that physical form of home has made me the kind of woman that takes life by the horns and tries to squeeze as much Bull juice as she can out of it. I just need the kind of rider that can hold on as long as I can. Maybe my cowboy is hanging his hat in the Big Apple, and I intend to find him.

If not, I still have an entire world to find what I am looking for!

Now, who needs a saddle?!



Blondes like riding bare back!!

8.22.2008

Del Friskeys

I was in Houston last week for my birthday bash. My friends took me to Del Friscos, twice. Once was enough. Del Friscos is an over rated steak house with a cruise ship appeal. Its swooping staircase, marble entry, tall ceilings, and massive granite bar with outstanding wine selection (as long as you purchase a bottle) brings in an array of patrons. I much preferred Uncle Tony’s when it was around. It was quiet, unpretentious and the best piano music for a bar this side of the Big Easy.


The first time we sat at the bar, I became fascinated with a very pretty brunette.
I was taken by her choice of fashion. A skintight aqua blue tank with a low dipping front and white hot pants with silver stiletto sandals. Not your usual style of dress for dinner and I quickly concluded that her profession was one of a lateral position.

I could be wrong but I am not!

The gentleman that paid for her company was conveniently located to the back of her. For she was focused on the more handsome men on the other side. At first, her temp for hire boss was pleased with the affirmations he was receiving from the many admirers of his paid girl. But that quickly subsided when he was completely ignored for the duration of drinks. He placed his hands on her shoulders and I actually felt her tighten up and cringe. She knew and I knew what was about to be. She was going to have to pony up the product.

Ickk!!

I followed her to the bathroom, went into the stall next to hers, leaned in and listened closely through the metal divider wall.

Sniff!!

Sniff!!

If I were her, I would want to numb my life as well!!


The second night I was there, a woman had her hand down a gentleman’s (did I just say gentleman--that's funny!) pants giving him a discreet stroking of his Johnson (did I just say discreet—that’s funny, too!). Actually it was a bit discreet until he made a point to let me know he was just taken care of. He actually made a point to lean back in his chair and rearrange his wiggle stick and tuck in his shirt, meanwhile, looking at me.

And if someone looks at me I say hello...it’s the polite thing to do!

“Hi, that looked good. Make sure to tip her well!"

"Was it on the menu?"

"Did you have a coupon?"

"Did your date come free with the suit?”

I think their were responses back from them but I failed to hear any of it. I was focused on the little girl and her family that just passed by us on their way to the dining section.



Blondes can't stomach tacky!!

8.21.2008

Dudz to Spudz

Dear Dudes and Dudettes, or do I mean Duds?

Regarding Bad Dates, not so bad, and/or I don't think a next time date:

Please don't bother trying to be nice...If it didn't work, it didn't work...whatever. I am not losing sleep over it and you don't have to call and act like your still interested to spare my feelings. What is the reasoning behind this? I don't understand it..you go on a couple of dates and find out the person doesn't work for you nor you for them but they try to pretend its something else and stays in touch...until when? until they need you for a booty call...that's when!!

They keep you on the rejected but still hot list. Keeping you on the end of the shoelace until they need to tie one on and call you to rectify their current situation due to there extreme boredom and loneliness,all the time wearing the 'buds for benefits' banner across their chest. I'm sorry but my philanthropic endeavors do not go beyond children and animals--I am way to valuable to give it up to be charitable and you sir are no 'bud' of any girls or guys if you use them for conjugal purposes only!

I prefer the old fashion way..you don't call me and I don't call you and eventually we both get the picture and no one gets insulted--especially me!!

Blondes don't buy into bootie calls!!

8.19.2008

Houston We Have a Problem

Boo and Jesus are gone!! My family, my roommates, my confidants; they have left me with little more than food encrusted carpet, tack holes in the wall and a bunch of crazy cats that the shelter won’t take.

I walk by the room and the emptiness of where they sat almost every day bitching at each others attack approach on some online war game. The same game that took up all the bandwidth in the house and I couldn’t get on the internet. Many a missing blog was because of that wretched game. Now I would do anything to hear the blasting and the petty arguments this game inspired almost every night.

I didn't realize I was going through some sort of empty nest syndrome and I used Match dates to deal with it. I knew they were leaving for California and I to New York. I knew this day was coming. It sat in the back of my throat like a hard lump that couldn't be swallowed. I clung to my dates as if they were my baby blanket hoping they were going to satisfy some void that has been left behind; alas, no one quenched my thirst. I guess because I wasn’t thirsty for man. I was merely chasing a rabbit to get away from the fox hole that now has two less foxes in it. I am thirsty now but only because I caught up to my emotional rabbits and its a positive life loving, quenching kind of thirst now.

I did really like one guy on Match. I know because I was an idiot every time I called him, text him, or talked to him and I blonded up more than usual. I am fairly certain its not in the cards now. Oh well, its not the first time this has happened and I am sure it won't be the last time either, at least I hope it won't be! Its the only feeling I know that proves I am still capable of loving someone.
Its sort of like being at a party and you had way too much to drink and your trying to pull off cool but it can't be done and after you knock someones drink over, spill your purse and have to grab the contents off the floor around people's feet; you know its time to bail. You hang your head down and quietly leave, grab a cab and sob all the way home. Eventually I will get over it...I am sure it wasn't really what I made it out to be, anyway. At least that's my story and I am sticking to it.

Of course I am still having a hard time trying not to cry today over Boo and Jesus, and I don’t have anyone to hold me and tell me its alright but it seems my life has always been that way. When I need someone the most, that is when I am alone, probably because desperation doesn’t make for good bedfellows.

For now, I will have to rely on a 1988 Palmer Margaux Red Blend, sad movies,a box of tissue and a turned off cell phone this week.


Blondes are in a continuing eduction program!!