7.31.2008

Delineation of the Truth

A dude in a mock turtle neck and mustache with classic GQ hair.
Definitely vintage: early 90's I would say.

Its a good thing I am the Sultan of mischievous Google searches. I surfed for info on this gent before diving head first with my cellular integer. I only need a few clues to get my private dick web dog on the scent.


He sends a photo with headline 'Dreamy Photo'.

Who does that?!

Superciliousness with extra cheese on top!!

Geek!!

Here is the exert from the email(photo not included to protect the foolish, for they know not what they are):

Dreamy Photo

IMAGINE PHOTO HERE ( picture Magnum PI without the curl)

Here is the pic. I hope you have just the right spot for it on your refrigerator. Let me know what you think and we can go from there.

'Magnum' portrays himself as refined man who likes Baccarat...I am not a fan but whatever. He also portrays himself 20 years younger based on his vintage photag. I found his real photo on the corporate website. The mustache has since been long gone, by the looks of it.

He is looking for the woman to impress his friends, not really for himself. He happens to be an 'Entrepreneur of the Year' and moving up in the ranks. I commend him for this aspect, only. He wants a 'classy' girl that can host parties and make people comfortable and doesn't mind the attention she receives. Because she is so beautiful she commands that much attention.


Playmate Catering Service at your disposal?!

Any...hoo!!


I am not a big fan of hosting political or corporate affairs. I did it. You have to be charming and witty to a million dull people for a zillion hours and than your so tired by the time you get home, you fall asleep in your gown.

Ughgh...

I will do it only for charity these days. At least some good will come from all the nonsense.


Any...hoo!! Sorry a bit ADD today..

Any time I hear the word classy or see a long list of wants that pertain to how other people will perceive the woman, I can tell the sir is not from the upper crust nor has he eloquently evolved into his position in life as a wealthy man who supposedly agrees with the finer things in life and can respect a woman on a deeper level of commitment than to be the trophy to impress all.


Sophisticated, refined, cultured, well bred, modest means but well-liked..these are the words that are whispered among each other in the haute monde.


Not, Classy!!

Classy is a blue collar who wants the hostess not the waitress.




Blondes got your number way before dialing it!!

Is it sexual harassment?

Is it considered a professional rule break when someone slides their finger over the top of your hand expecting you to write your phone number down on a post-it note.
I have to give him credit, he was very suave and confident about getting his cryptic message across to me. He did it right in front of the other board members.
Made me think this was not his first rodeo ride on a bull named 'Affair'.

How this all came about:

The other week I was shown a photo of the villa the Married, and his wife, occupied over the summer holiday.

As I view the photo I simply say,"Damn, I am marrying for money!!"

We laughed!!

Joke over, right?!

Wrong!

Apparently from that little comment came a slew of stares and tight passes through the hall, eventually graduating to the finger slide atop my hand. He is the Big Guy and owns half the deals on the table. I guess he felt he had the right to poach.

I really must be careful what I say to dudes that probably do not get their fair share of 'spoons and dips' in the bedroom by the significant other.

Here is the crazy thing. Because I did not return the favor with a penned digits on the post it. He failed to join the meeting yesterday. You don't think he is embarassed, do you?


Nahj, maybe I am just being arrogant to think my rejection kept him away this time!

Hhmmm.....


5 days

6 hours

31 minutes until gone!!



Blondes don't like messy business deals!

Road Kill

The probelmo with Westlake is the amount of road kill I see. I am so sick of seeing a mooshed animal on the road.

Yesterday a fox

Today an armadillo

The other day a bambi

over

and over, again!!

I especially hate it when I see it on the back roads up to my house where your supposed to drive 30 mpg's. Unless the animal is a suicide, I think drivers can take a little more time paying attention to their surroundings.

I notice the bigger the SUV or truck, the more disconnected the driver is to the universe around them. I see the drivers on the phone not paying attention. I remember, one time, a total biatch ran right over a squirrel in front of me. She didn't bat an eye or even tap her breaks. Just ran over the damn things like it was dirt.

I really wanted to pummel the el coonte'!!

Maybe its a Texas thing. Or maybe its a United States thang. Riding inside our country wide SUVs disconnected from the universe around us. How far have we fallen down the political totem pole that other countries are looking to China for help?

I wish I could just one day not see road kill or hear about another one of our soldiers dying!!


Blondes drive with the top down!!

7.30.2008

Countdown!!

6 Days

4 hours

52 minutes

until the end of employment

Oops!!
Now 51 minutes...


Blondes don't always have a back up plan!!

7.29.2008

Boredom to Stardom

I believe if my blog won't make me famous maybe my new emicons will!!

:-)=

buck teeth

:): >----

Happy naked lady

:)8 >----

Enhanced happy naked lady

:0 : >---
happy ending naked lady

: 0 8 >------
happy ending enhanced naked lady

: ( 3----
sad naked boy with pencil peepee


The Blonde needs to find better use of her time!!!

7.28.2008

No Camera Man




The problemo with going on holiday alone is no camera man. I didn't have anyone to take pictures of me surfing the big blue.

I opted for the cheesy photo next to my board but since I forgot Boo and Jesus borrowed my camera for their excursion to the Wisconsin Air Show, I was left with my pathetic phone camera and I left my goods in the locker when I went surfing and I was too lazy to go get it just for a good photo op. So I yanked an older op from my pics.

Anyhoo,

I rented a scooter to get around and so once the driver dropped me at the Ayres Hotel, I didn't go very far. I spent most my days surfing and walking the beach
alone and content.

I mingled with the local flavors that were cute but not my sort of dish. I spent time in the java huts and eating raw vegetarian.

I wanted to blend.

I had a lot of guys talking to me, not thrilled with all the homeless and hopeless incurable surfer dudes without a day job rushing me all at once.

But the Daddy-Os were cool!

I had too many fruit smoothies because I wasn't into dining alone..actually that was my big meal of the day when I would have them blend up a seaweed extraction thingy majingy right before hitting the waves.

Mmm

Mmm

Mmmm

I didn't get much of a tan because I had a full suit on and I made sure not to get a farmers tan just on my face so sun protection became the theme of the day. Constantly missing waves to re-apply. The good waves were either way early morn or late afternoon and I spent the sunny time eating and typing away on my script at the juice hut.

I had to cut the trip short do to the now early departure of my position at work .
All in all, a fab time albeit the towel next to me was un occupado. I really needed a suntan lotion dude for all my general needs on the turf.

Dinner

Lunch

laughing at my arse every time I took a major spill.

Getting others to stop laughing after I had a major spill

etc...

etc....


Blonde Bettys need a little love and protection!!

I hate the Bus

Technically I wasn’t thrown under the bus. I stood in front of the bus and then the two co-workers drove a Mac truck into the back of the bus thus running me over with the bus.

Tsk
Tsk
Tsk

I guess I will take some responsibility for positioning myself in front of said bus.

But!!!

It still does not diminish the fact that I was run over by the beast of mediocrity and the burden of negativity when they slammed into the bus!!
Co-conspirators, I say!!

I am watching my back until its safely planted on the beach next to some gorgeous Greek God lovingly spreading sun tan lotion, with the protection of SPF 30, to protect me from being burned.

Wish I had SPF for the office!!

Thank God my final day is official now and I have already booked my trip to the French Riviera where I will bask in the sun and forget that I ever was surrounded by four walls, 2 fluorescent lights, 1 plant, and the solid void of white noise.




Blondes always look for the best way out!!

7.27.2008

What Co-workers?!

Wax On

wax off

Wax on

Wax off...



After spending an exceptionally narly weekend waxing my board and playing on the surf in Cali..this Blonde Betty could care less about what happened last week at work.

But give me tomorrow and you will have the dish and the cake too!!


Blondes are riding way to high today!!!

7.24.2008

Float Like a butterfly



sting like a bee...

not every Muslim is out to get you and me!!


and I think the Rapture is silly!!!

Poof!

Poof!!

Poof!!


Fundamentalists and Extremists have a lot to learn!!



The Blonde just wants positive change!!

Et Tu Brute?

I am out of the blogger sphere today nursing knife wounds in my back.



On tomorrows show:

Coworkers..Beast and Burden!!!!!!



Blondes will go out in a Blaze of Glory!!

7.23.2008

Take a Moment

Breathe

An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it

Mahatma Gandhi


Release

Breathe

I will not let fools bother me today at work

Release


Blondes will breathe zen more times!!

Ante Up

My queer cat Goose is now into ants. The nap sack fondling feline has resorted to snorting ants from a tree and then eating them. He sits under the tree they crawl upon, until he has finished the very last one.

After snorting ants he retires to the garage where his beloved nap sack sits in a basket and he makes sweet love to it for about half and hour, and then he falls asleep for the day.

Goose is actually a prize winning maine coon cat so we give him a break from being weird considering all the inbreeding in his family and the fact I bought him from a drunk for $5. I left him at my parents about 4 years ago and I no longer claim ownership. I am hoping to do the same with the rest of the lot.

So...

My diabolical plan to leave everyone of my furry little begotten beasts at my parents house is working. I have systematically integrated them into the daily routine of retired old foke, except for Lela.

My Father hates little Miss Lela Pelina.

Miss Lela was caught on a highway after I shut down two lanes of traffic to chase and catch her. She was a tough get.For being born from pauper cats she is actually quite intelligent.

But..

She is a chatter box. She loves to talk way too much!!

You can barely shut her up sometimes. Especially when she complains her food was not delivered in a timely fashion or when she disapproves of the flavor of the can.

She will snub the meal.

Then she will snub you.

Then she will cry all night outside your window because she is hungry.

If you don't let her in she gets increasingly louder through the night. A double paned thermo nuclear window couldn't shush her screeching meow!

Moving on...

Sophie is the Twinkie eating trailer trash beauty weighing in at a delectable 26 lbs.
She is quite wily for one her size. She has to be, to get past the gates and doors of the exteriors and wiggle her behind to the end of the hall where well groomed guest rooms await her for a daily nap. She mixes up the room as to hide from my Father.

We pay the maid off to keep quiet. I am not above understanding my Father's dismay about the whole affair especially when Miss Sophie has a penchant for scooting her bum across the wool carpet, which is the reason for paying off the maid. Someone has to clean the skid print.

Its sooo gross!!

But hysterically funny when you catch her!!

Sophie has to be an indoor kitty in the summertime heat, especially in Texas.
If you put her outside she will explode!


and were moving on...


Peppy La Pew. My most fave feline of all because he is species confused and hops like a bunny. I think its because I found him in a shoe box in a trash can and he was probably depleted of air.
He loves to lay in bed and kneed my hair and if you pet him for awhile his tongue will drift out of his mouth and dangle.


To this day I would like to pummel the culprit that thought throwing a baby kitten away in the trash was OK.!!

Anyhoo...

I just hope my Father doesn't decide to give them to Goodwill while I am in the midst
of gallivanting around the country at the end of this summer!!



Blondes would hate to lose her friends while away!!