Islamic Flu

I have the Flu!!

My gorgeous 3 day weekend and I have the influenza virus moving around my body like sludge in an ice machine.

I always focus on the culprit whom gave me their dirty germs... not that I am ever going to hunt them down like the disease infested animal that they are and put the rest of the world in a 20 ft. radius of their germ spray at ease knowing they will not fall pray to the germ harboring phleeb. Its more so I can send evil thoughts to them while I am in bed with nothing better to do.

My phleep was this Muslim woman on the plane behind me. You think with all that extra fabric her abaya allows to cover her face... she could have used it over her mouth while coughing to protect the rest of the plane from her virus catapulting through the air vents of the plane.



Blondes don't like how sick the world is getting!!!

Another Blonde Moment

I am at airport security check with my back-pack. I have my laptop, Diva, it has a big 'D' sticker on the top of it, and several notebooks. Everything is neatly stacked.

I put all my things in the cubbies:

Shoes

jacket

lay my backpack down carefully

Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

Oops..

"Whose bag is this?"

Its mine

"Mam, you can't have stuff on top the laptop."

But its only a sticker!




Blondes need to think first before speak!!

Blonde Moment 183

I needed to return some clothes to the Deisel store. I decided to return the items to the store down by the university in hopes of finding a chill replacement for my return.
I found parking

Ooops!!

I turned to steep

Pull forward

park again

Damn!!

Turned to hard again

Pull forward

Crap..I am wedged in

Now i can't move the car

OOps..bump

OOps...bump

OK...now I am in

at a slight angle

Drivers honk

QWhat?! I ask

You can't loop around?1



Hhmmm

Where is the store?

I could swear it was here

Maybe I am wrong

I will walk in the other direction

Nope

Maybe I missed it

i will walk down the other direction again

Nope

Maybe I should ask someone

I don't feel like asking

its a pretty day

I will turn around and just double check

I walk again in the other direction...again

Nope

I will ask

What?!

It moved to the Domain

Hhmmmmmm



That is where I bought this!




Blonde.................

Cankle Sore

My ankle is still swollen to the size of my calf. I look like I inherited my Grandmother's cankles based on this leg.

I have been buying up Chukka rubber boots to wear while I heal....pun intended!!

The story:

I went to Victoria Secret to buy all new underwear for my trip to Aspen. I knew it would be cold and I wanted just cotton panties and bras.

I bought the collegiate collection with the little patches and i went for the boy shorts because quite frankly I am not a fan of the thong unless absolutely necessary and under thick winter clothes--

Things are not unnecessary

Anyhoo

I get home and I do what every other adult girl would do..I try them on, pour a glass of wuine, turn up the jams and dance on my bed in front of the mirror like a rock star!


CRASH!!


CRACK!!


UH OH!!


I fell off the bed and cracked my ankle on the edge of the suitcase I was packing for my ski trip...pun intended!!

Fortunately, snowboarding uses boots that are more like casts and I was able to use the bunny slope for my fun.



Blondes should use a pole to dance!!

Phone Ex--Change

It is that time of season again where too many ex-boyfriends are calling and I am tired of ignoring them.

It takes a lot of effort to look at caller ID and hit the ignore button!

On top of that, I have to delete the messages quickly hitting the lucky #7 button in time not to hear their voice.

UGHHH...the stress!!!

Don't call me....I will call you.... is a good rule of thumb for those who do not receive a return call somewhere in the 24 hour 'normal rate of return' zone during the week and 36 hour if its a weekend and we didn't have plans, which we wouldn't because I am no longer talking to you.

Does my actions not speak clearly: not answering the phone calls or returning the phone calls--does any of this not ring a bell?!!


I would leave a message saying I have moved on but you will use that as an excuse to call....again!!!





Blondes need a spa day without a mani!!

Business?!

I don't recall talking business?!


It is charming to sneak off and call a girl while at a function. Unfortunately, it quickly loses mometnum and flattery when you have to tell someone at the party that the girl you are on the phone with is business??!!


mmh...mmmh...mhhh,,,


Didn't a Governor get in trouble that way?!




Call me when your really free!!



Blonde girls don't engage in that kind of business!!

BTW

What the heck are those little mini hammer and screwdriver thing at the bottom of my blog.



Get off my blog!!!




Blondes don't know how to use tools!!!

Midnight Moves

Did you know steam dances?

Neither did I until I occupied a room, heated through water baseboards, in Aspen.



At night when all was sleeping

not even a mouse was peeping

the water began to dance!!

tap

tap

tap....tap....tap...

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap

tap

tap



tap


Turn off the heat so you can sleep.

It would seem the most simple thing to do.

Alas, turning off the heat
would not stop the dancing of the steam.

tap

tap

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap

tap
tap


My dear readers, for it was not our heat dancing in the night.

Twas the room above us!!

tap!


tap!


tap!


Blondes don't like dancing through their beauty sleep!!

Panic, Panic, Panic

...is a good thing...at least for me...and let's face..I am all I care about.

It is now much easier for me to invest my money. While stocks are plummeting...I can scoop them up like a fine set of pearls I found at the flea market.

Its like putting that fabulously expensive designer dress that I have to have on law-away. I can't wait till the pay-day comes and I can pick it up and go out in style again.

One person's loss is another persons gain, someone said once.

and when the gain is in my favor...

all the better!!




Blondes never panic!!

Entertaining Idea

Leave it to me to find a sale on breast augmentation.

You heard me...a SALE!!!

I you sign up before march 31st you can have both breasts implanted for the price of one!!


All sales final

No return policy

What is my size?!


Blondes shouldn't impulse purchase!!

More than Snowboard Lessons

Aspen has taught me not to skimp on plastic surgery!!

It has taught me to continue using my sunscreen!!

Sun damage is not attractive on anyone--male or female!!

Bad lip injections are just bad!!

At a certain age you need to stop with the faux tan!!


...and this is just from sitting at the Nell...



Blondes don't want to look like a cartoon!!

Only a Blonde

Would be so excited about her trip to Apsen for her very first snowboard lesson that she would dance like a whirling dervish on the edge of her bed and fall, breaking her ankle less than 12 hours away from Aspen time!!


Need I say more?!


The blonde is an idiot!!