Hi Baby!!

Hey Baby!


Hey Baby!


Hey Baby!



Fate is a funny thing!!

You can tempt it once and it will put its foot down.
It has a way of telling you exactly where you should be.

Tempt it twice and it might just lead you off into the wrong direction.

I am not foolish enough to attempt anything twice. I hope I get it right the first time.

Like knowing the difference about what you want and what will make you happy.

I ask myself two thing:


If he lost everything...would I still be by his side?

Hmmmmm..... no!! Duh, I can be poor on my own!!


Veritas..Baby..Veritas...



The second question is:


Does he think I'm the bomb?!

and when I know the answer is absolutely, unequivocally yes...
I know I have just as much worth as the man
and that makes us equally valuable to each other.



Blondes are truly worth loving!!

Boobies!!!

I am puffy this week..

and I love it because it means my boobs are bigger.

I love holding them feeling the heftiness of them.

Next week they will be gone. Bummer.

If you happen to see my holding them and looking at them, and squeezing them to make cleavage. Don't judge me!! I am getting in touch with my masculine side.

I can see why men love them so much. They are kind of like a stress release ball.


Squeeze and play with them for awhile and you forget your at work!



Maybe I should get a pair to play with all the time?!!


Hmmm...



Blondes love squishy things!!

Blonde begets Blonde

If you wonder where my Blonde comes from..its hereditary on my Mother's side.

Just the other night I let her read the blog about the popsicles.
My Mother was completely oblivious to the sexual undertones.




"Cherry popsicle? What does a man know? Cherry is too acidic. How silly!"

"Right? Grape is better don't you think Mother?"

"Oh darling, yes grape is good but whipped cream would be even better. More soothing."

"Your right Mother, whip cream would be better."



Why didn't I think of that?!!



Blonde Mothers have great wisdom!!

Burn the Bad Ones!!

My Mother and I were talking in the kitchen the other day about my weekend happenings with the emphasis on my fashion choices.

I have designer clothes from New York, Milan and Paris, etc...and of course most of it is sexy and daring especially my thigh high boots that I love. I wish I could afford those Chanel thigh highs but at $1750, alas my bank account has fallen short these days...

Anyhoo:

My style floats in all the fore mentioned cities, like a sailboat does on crystal blue water but not in this town. We are a big town that likes to think we are a small city but were not--were a big town and like a town anything out of the norm scares the dickens out of the kin folk.

I am used to the stares, the whispers, the whatever makes them feel better about themselves conversations..it doesn't bother me. I like who I am and I really don't need the affirmations of strangers to fill me self-esteem gravy boat. I certainly wont lose sleep over the ones that really don't like me either--after all, its their issue not mine.

Even my Mom will get a dig in once in awhile. I am still not clear if she means it or if at her age she fails to see the use of fashion as a mark, or perhaps her European sense of adventure is diminishing in wake of a more americanized conservative tradition

WOW..that almost made me sound like a brunette.


Where was I?! Oh, yes...the nasty remark


"Well, Mother, I was wearing an Ungaro coat..I think they thought I was famous"

"Maybe they thought you were an expensive hooker"

"AAAHHHGHGG!"

"Mother, what happened?!"

"I burned myself"

"Hmm..must be Jesus getting you back for saying mean things to me! "

"Better watch out Mother, I surrendered, I have the original Godfather looking out for me!!"



I think I am getting this religion thing down. Its like having your own personal bodyguard--maybe that's why they call him the savior.?!


Who can we burn next?!!!



Blondes love having a bodyguard!!

The Grape Savior!

Allergy pills don't just dry out your nose
they dry out other parts that weren't meant to be dry

Good news....My eyes don't itch anymore!!
The bad news...something else does. Ladies, you know.

I'm on the phone with my friend and while he tells me his disgusting tales of his boogie clots in his nose, I further the ante on the grossness level by talking about yeast infections.
We are thoroughly disgusted with each other but laughing hysterically and both being artists our creative juices (pardon the pun) begin to flow.

I said it would be a challenge to write a story that makes a yeast infection sexy and my friend who was sucking on a Popsicle said yes it would.

"God a Popsicle would feel so good on it right now."

"I wonder what flavor would work best"

my friend " I think cherry"

"No, grape, definitely grape."

Seriously, how would cherry be better than grape?

Grape it is...

AHHHH

OHHH...yes!!!

AAAAHHHHHAAHHH!!!!






OUCHHHHHHHHHH

Freezer Burn!!!!
Freezer Burn!!!!!!

Blondes should never talk to a guy about popsicles!!

Holy Jesus!!

I let a guy read the bible to me!!

I didn't touch the bible for fear it would set aflame!!

We also held hands and said a prayer,

My thoughts at the moment of my surrender or would it more appropriate to say ambush?


"Take my hands"

"Where?"

"Now pray with, me"

"Can I have a glass of wine first?"

"His is the size of a moose"

"I wonder if this prayer really works"

" I guess I should stop thinking about his penis"

"Can I get in trouble for praying and thinking about sex at the same time?!"

"How is Christ going to save me while I'm thinking about the moose?!"


"AMEN"

"Uhmmm..Amen...I surrender to the almighty Moose!!!


Consequently after my prayer...that evening.... I used a certain lotion that burned a certain somethin, somethin...AGAIN!!!!

God has a way of burning the non-believer.


Blondes have VIP status at all the hot nightclubs in hell!!

This week's Craigslist Loser

Sarkozy had a paramour, so why not me ? -m4w - 35

---

Reply to: pers-538755606@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-14, 12:23PM EST


If you know what that refers to w/o googling it, we're off to a good start, b/c presumably you're aware of what's going on elsewhere in the world. It's fine to google, by the way.)

Paramour = someone compelling and attractive for discreet, extracurricular shenanigans

Time marches on while we are mired traffic and domestic responsibilties, slowly stagnating mentally and sexually (many of us, anyway). Acceptable but not an ideal scenario, so those that are a bit more restless and open-minded philosophically should reply to kick off what could be a most interesting and fruitful conversation. It would be best if you were young or spry enough to be nubile, lithe, or trim but mature enough to be emotionally confident, wise to some extent, and not particularly giggly (intelligent humor is perfectly acceptable and recommended, however.) Pubs, museums, your place, and dark corners are some potential locales for the innapropriate libidinous fun to follow and the sweaty sexual escapades surely to ensue. I have no plans to run for public office or change the official standing at home, so your mischievous nature, political views, and carnal preferences are safe w/ me.

... and please don't make me articulate the discretion and your d/d free status,

Life is still a Ball Y'all

Your table is ready! Follow me...
We follow and I am doing my strut through the restaurant.

We eat
We talk

peeps join us

Peeps point out that the Lead Singer of Janes Addiction is sitting next to us along with Sony big wigs

Who's Janes Addiction?

You know Carmen Electra's ex-hubbies band

OH

anyhoo

Dinner's over
Time to do my strut out

As we are walking out there is this table of women..I think five of them..not one of them smiling and just giving me and my date a look like I killed their bunny rabbit.

I can't help it, I had to say something..

I didn't stop but I did.... casually slow down so I could throw out a little advice

"Scowling isn't sexy ladies... Maybe that's why y'all are sittin alone tonight!!"

Poor girls


Blondes can't help but want to help!!

Life is a Ball Y'all!!

I'm tall...and pretty...and I can walk a room like no one's business so of course people are going to look and focus on me and if I happen to be on a date with an older guy..they focus on him too!!

Boy do they focus!

There was an older couple sitting at the bar when we walked in..the woman kept tapping her husband's arm and him being a man tried to do his best of being non-obvious..I'm thinking it didn't matter because she worse than he was at it...

They kept looking and finally my date and I proceeded to the other end of the bar but not before I leaned into the couple and said...

"You know contrary to popular belief, I'm not paid for....I work for free!!"

They just had a ball gossiping about us and I had a ball that I reached infamous status...even if it was just for the evening...

The blonde never turns a fan away!!

Millionaire Mate!!!

Yes my blog has a financial tone this week, probably do to my ever so concern over the recession and state of..blah...blah...blah...

Where was I? OH yes!! Idiots!!

I was having fun with CL for my poser exposer blog which I have since dismantled because of boredom. You run into one idiot, you run into them all...and they seem to congregate in CL..Hhmmmm!!

Where was I? Oh Yes...Idiots!!

I wrote:

absolutely the funniest personal on craigslist..I'm LOL...seriously..great stuff....

I would love to have some of the replies for my blog..could you forward some of the idiotic responses to me..I would love it for my blog..

Thanks Via

The generated response back:
Hi

Thank you for your interest in my Cl ad. Right now, I am at work and I
promise to properly respond to your email when I get back.

Obviously, because of who I am, I must keep everything very discreet
so the stock holders of my company stay happy.

If you want, you can take a look at my profile / pictures at
http://www.freeqdi.com/recommends/Michael

My user name is mpregini

Let me know your user name so I can look you up and contact you.

This website is geared towards millionaires and keeps my privacy very
secured which is why I use them.
I even had to prove my financial status before being able to join.

I am not promoting this website it is pretty much a buffer between the
crazy people of the world (which I am sure you're not) and myself.

Just let me know your user name and we'll go from there.

I apologize that I have to do it this way but I met a crazy woman off
CL just the other day and
it is easier for me to use the website as a buffer.

My reply back:

your kidding, right? this has to be a joke? you need to be discreet and don't use CL but you do use CL to promote the millionaire poser site....LOL

good luck with your site

I get same auto response from him

and than a month later I get a personal note:

Sorry to disappoint Via

I am real

and than the auto response is sent to me again..



Idiots amuse the blonde!!

Promises, Promises, Promises

If your going to tell me you saw a mink coat at the store and you had a fantasy about me wearing it...you better buy it!!

What is it with men dangling pretty little things, and not your penis, in front of me and than never giving it to me.

Its called being a tease and blondes don't like a tease anymore than a man does.


Its like window shopping..its not shopping if you aren't buying. I don't go into a store that I cannot afford and look at all the pretty things I can't have. Why would I do that? It would just make me feel bad that I can't have them. I don't go around putting dollar bills in the pocket of fur coats or inside handbags while wearing it around the store and than get mad because the coat and handbag can't come home with me!!

I just assume play imaginary millionaire with my Vogue. Sort of like what men do with their playboy magazine.

If its the thought that counts, don't tell the blonde!!!

I was thinking...

I know, I know...a blonde thinking? What's next, putting someone on the moon.

Where was I?

What was I thinking?

Damn, I forgot..

the blonde will get back to you!!!