The Jerk Store Called, They're Running Out of American Airlines Employees

 Remember that classic 'Seinfeld' episode where George has his belated comeback: "The jerk store called, they're running out of you"? A similar call must have been made to American Airlines recently, because apparently they've been stocking up.

You see, it seems American Airlines has taken a bold, contrarian stance to the conventional wisdom of 'the customer is always right.' Instead, their model appears to be 'the customer is always...right here, so let's just be jerks to them.' Not only is this a peculiar approach to customer service, but it's also damn frustrating for those of us unlucky enough to, you know, actually need to fly somewhere.

Let's start with the scene of the crime: the Sky Lounge. Ah, the Sky Lounge - that oasis in the desert of crowded gates and overpriced airport food. Yet, last time I was there, I was greeted not with a smile, but with the icy glare of a front desk girl who clearly got her training from the Cersei Lannister School of Hospitality. Her attitude could've chilled champagne, but unfortunately, they only had lukewarm prosecco.

Fast forward to this recent debacle - the Baggage Fiasco of 2023. The flight was already three hours late - a delay that would put a sloth to shame. And then, the cherry on top of this shit sundae: the luggage did not come down the ramp and we sat watching the belt circle over and over for 45 minutes before we finally went to the luggage claims office at AA.

The Bag Lady, stationed behind her desk, was too busy channeling her inner 'Office Space' and doing her best impression of a 'silent quitter.' It would have been Oscar-worthy, if she had been in a movie. Instead, she was in an airport, surrounded by tired but patient passengers who have been waiting an extra 45 minutes to see their bags after waiting 3 hours to see their friends and family come down the escalator.

Now, this is where things get interesting. As it turns out, the bags were there, just chilling behind the office. They had been there the whole time, probably swapping stories about rough handling and conveyor belt mishaps.

So, after the umpteenth time of seeing the rounds of the conveyor belt produce no luggage belonging to my friend, we ventured into the office, and asked the simple question: "Can you deliver the bags if they're delayed?" The response? A snappish retort that could've peeled paint off the walls, without her even looking up from her Facebook feed, or whatever the hell she was so engrossed in on her laptop. It was clearly more pressing than, say, her actual job.

Thank god there was one nice employee in the office who must have accidentally been hired by American Airlines. 

So, American Airlines, here's a thought: maybe try hiring people who actually like people? 

In the meantime, I'll be over here, researching other airlines with a customer service ethos that extends beyond 'silent quitting.' Because life's too short, and frankly, I've got better airlines to use  than argue with someone about whether my bags deserve to be treated better than lost socks in a laundromat.

American Airlines, you suck in many, many ways.  

And by the way, I have a few ore stories about AA at the ticket counter but you get my jist here.