5.12.2023

The Dylan Mulvaney Sh*tstorm: An '80s Style, Laugh-Out-Loud Take on Media Hysteria

Picture this: we're in the '80s, mullets are all the rage, and everyone's doing the moonwalk. The movies are filled with quirky characters, hilarious one-liners, and enough drama to fill a John Hughes' film festival. Now, let's throw the Dylan Mulvaney fiasco into this mix, and brace ourselves for one hell of a rollercoaster ride.

For those who've been living under a rock, Dylan Mulvaney is a figure who's become the center of a media sh*tstorm, representing a small minority group. The controversy isn't really about Dylan, but rather about how everyone and their dog has an opinion on this group, and they're not afraid to shout it from the rooftops.

Quite frankly, I think "they" is an obnoxious drama queen who should have stayed on TikTok and not gone into mainstream every fucking where media! They will never be a female. never be a girl, never be a woman. 

Not that I have any problem with it, but let's call a chick with a dick what they are. Let's give them their pronouns because that is as close as they will ever get. Like come on! Bubble baths and ditzy comments about sports is how they portray feminism? 

And the media is gobbling up the notion this will pass with the status quo? Really?!

It's like the media just snorted a line of pixie sticks and went full-blown bonkers, pushing this issue onto everyone like it's a VHS tape of the latest '80s blockbuster. But let's face it, people - we're never going to agree on everything, and expecting everyone to suddenly see eye-to-eye is about as likely as seeing the cast of "The Breakfast Club" reunite for a sequel.

So, what's the deal with this whole Dylan Mulvaney circus? Why can't we all just chill the f*ck out and appreciate the fact that we're all different, just like those wacky characters from our favorite '80s flicks? The media may be trying to shove this down our throats like a foot-long hot dog at a baseball game, but at the end of the day, we're all still individuals with our own opinions and beliefs.

In 20 years, will we look back on this mess and see a massive change in public opinion? Probably not. In fact, it's more likely we'll still be arguing about the same sh*t, while rocking even crazier hairstyles (if that's even possible).

The point is, we don't have to agree on everything, and that's okay. What we can do is learn to laugh at ourselves and our ridiculous obsession with the latest trends and controversies. After all, if Ferris Bueller taught us anything, it's that life's too short to take ourselves too seriously.

So, let's raise a toast to the '80s - a time when everything was larger than life, and even the most absurd situations made for some damn good entertainment. As we continue to navigate the chaotic world of media and social issues, let's remember to keep our sense of humor and embrace the madness with a wink and a smile.

Because, let's be honest - if we can't laugh at ourselves, then what the hell are we doing here?

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