9.14.2021

Killing Eve before Me

What I love about "Killing Eve", is her child like innocence against her cold blooded killer 'get it done' while holding an inquisitive look as to why the people she kills look at life in such a stupid way.

My favorite are the assassinations of arrogant women:

The bitch with the piano and the nanny scene, and the frightened bunny with shaking hands that tried to scare the hiccups out of Eve before she loses her last breath to a garden hose.

Brilliant writing and acting.

I digress. Or do I? I came from the same sample of home life that could have made me a killer, yet I have no killer instinct in me.

I would like to think myself this way, but I am too busy saving stupid fucking frogs at the moment!.

anyhoo....back to the blondes diary:

Asking God why he hated me so much was never answered.  If he did, I probably would not have tried so many times to kill myself.

I just wanted to know why he hated me so much. Why he gave me these parents. What did I do wrong?

Like they say, you really never want to die, you just want someone to answer you when you ask why this life?

Honestly, still asking God, "What the fuck did I do to deserve this fucking life?" Because I really want to fucking know!!!

And please don't be one of those assholes who plays the cancer kid card on me and how better my life was until you can explain to me how dying of cancer with loving parents next to your bed is better than being beat by a  belt, mentally abused, scared to death every time they came home every mother fucking day was better than dying of cancer.

And then years later,  as a teen acting out, those abusive parents tell all their neighbors and relatives how horrible and terrible she is to who parents that just want the best for her?

Yeah, some parents suck, and you are fucked if born into an abusive one! RUN!! RUN!!! Better than wanting to kill yourself!

But run in a smart direction! 

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