You Can't Swing On Grapevines

but the Mattel 'doll set' couple sitting behind me most certainly tried at the Grove Wine Bar.

I was planning just to sit in the hostess area and wait for my date to arrive but the bartender recognized me from a restaurant I used to go to and asked me what wine I would like. Naturally, I sat down to his hospitality and ordered a little french number.

While I was seated at the bar and staring blankly at the wall, a highly skilled trait of a blonde, the Barbie part of the Mattel couple approached me. She was as plastic as you can get without actually being a doll. She lifted her hand with elbow firmly planted against her body and in a robotic motion waited for me to shake her hand. She blinked a few times and then spoke without someone pulling her strings. It was really quite amazing. I wonder if I can get one for my niece and ship it to her in time for the holidays.

I just need to find a really big box with air holes.


In plastic doll speak, she told me she liked my hat. I thanked her and hoped she was on her way to the ladies room to refill the candy in her nose but she just stood there staring at me. Then an awkward moment later, she repeated the hat comment and walked back to her table.

The next minute later, Barbies' Ken comes up to the bar and asks me if someone the seat next to me is taken. I said no but I am waiting for someone.

Ken sat down anyway. I guess plastic ears don;t hear as well as real ones.

It was an innocent enough conversation but after Ken's Barbie tried to prime me, I knew what Ken was up to. I never liked playing Barbie and I thought Ken was gay and I am no Skipper.

I don't swing that way!!
I don't care if you have a pink corvette,

or penthouse

or boat with a blender!!

I just stared at the sports channel focusing on speeding up the clock so my date would arrive now. When he finally arrived ( its seemed like forever) just a minute later, I was super happy, to say the least.

We moved to the dining area with a wall safely dividing us from the Mattel group.

All I could think about is how I would never want to share the man I love with anyone.

The Blonde likes a solo act!!

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