4.26.2009

How to Kill a Blonde, Volume 1

It has become very evident that my Mother could right a book on how to kill someone right under the noses of others.
All you have to do is be sweet, short, and have a funny accent to convince the police it was an accident; All 23 attempted times.

This week I was too ill to get out of bed and my Mother seeing another opportunity to kill me, went at it like a lion goes for a gazelle.

She placed a medicine bottle on my nightstand and said not to worry about the expiration date, the pills are still good. I didn't bother to look and I took the pills.

She would come in and check on me every once in awhile.

"Did you take the pills?"

"Yes, thanks."

"Good, make sure you take two more.", she said with a grin and glare in her eye, which was hidden behind a sweet smile. She refrained from heckling as she closed the door for fear I might figure out what she was up to.

Throughout the week, My mother kept pushing the pills on me like the witch pushed candy on Hansel and Gretel. I was finally moving about, not because of the meds but because a flu runs its course in 5 to 8 days with or without drugs.

When I decided to look at the bottle for no other reason than being bored out of my wit, I saw an expiration date that read 2002. I didn't freak because I don't really believe in exp dates for pills but what did get my goat was the fact that their were over 60 pills in the bottle and the original label had a quantity of 20 capsules.

Hhmm....

These are tablets. I took the tablet out and looked for a pharmaceutical marking.

None.

Apparently, Murdering Mum slipped a bunch of mystery drugs into a bottle of antibiotics years ago and forgot... or did she?!

She pushed those poison pills on me, like a crack dealer at a kindergarten, before I was well enough to wise up and find out what she was up to.

Blondes need to read more!!

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