Pavlov's Theory Applied to Blondes

Ali Abu owns one of the many gas stations I use around town to buy my Nat Sherman Fantasias. For those that do not take pride in the art of smoking, Fantasias are crayon colored smoke delights with a gold tip, no junk added beyond natural cancer causing agents, and cost around $9 for a gold scribed box.

I used to average 1 to 2 cigarettes on the weekends with a glass of wine until I tried the nicorette patch, way above my level, which gave me nightmares and an increased craving for my colorful chick sticks. I am now up to 3 to 4, with my wine, and have decided to go cold turkey one day in the near future. Considering I inch closer to the mirror every morning to check for lines induced by obsessive paranoia inflicted on me by beauty product propaganda, the day of smoke freedom is closing in fast. I would quit based on the cancer societies death toll ads but they are annoying and not as convincing as the Oil of Olay Skin Regenerist cream threats on aging skin.


Back at Ali Abu's, I use the self slide debit machine and for more than a year, the cashiers have had to reach over and help me finish my transaction.

Slide card

hit debit

enter secret code

and the Blonde waits for her receipt.

Meanwhile, the cashier must reach over the counter

hit the button for

cash back


button for

amount correct


waits for printing of receipt

and hands it to me.

Today, I actually completed the sales transaction all by myself.

Had the cashier just slapped my hand every time I prematurely ended the transaction...I would have learned sooner.

Blondes can learn new tricks!!

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