3.24.2009

I Am Offically Reformed

but unofficially, after 6 hours of driver's rehab online, I am going back to my old habits. I guess I don't feel my minor law infractions warrant a full sobriety from speeding. I rarely go over 4, 5, OK...maybe 10 in the city....but I only hit 15 over signage on the highway during really long trips. But in my defense, this is Texas, there is a lot of ugly country and roadkill to speed through on my way to a city landscape.

I missed 4 questions on the video part because I didn't bother to watch the videos and the trick questions got me. I missed only two on the written part, but again I didn't bother to read that either.

I already know the law.

How else would I know when to dart my eyes around looking for the boys in blue before I break one?

Duh!!

I will have to say, I am amazed how the test actually validated me as a considerate and more than decent driver. I passed my driving rehab with flying colors.

Where is my key chain?!!

And now that I know I am a reborn again and a better driver than everyone else, I want to host intervention parties for the zillions of people that refuse to admit they suck at road courtesy which by the way, made up for a third of the entire test.

Here is a little test to see if you need driver's anonymous:


Do you stop at the on ramp because you can't accelerate and navigate, at the same time, to get on the highway?

Do you play secret traffic cop driving the speed limit in the left left lane and not allowing others to pass?

Do you put the cell phone to your ear before shifting in reverse out of your parking space?


Don't even think about saying, "NO" you liar!!

I am no saint, but the Pope should think about making me one after this test!!

I'm kidding!

I cant be a saint until I am dead!!

And considering how bad most of the drivers I share the road with are....that title could come quicker than I want!!

(Excuse me while I knock on wood)


I will admit to one unsaintly act on the road"

I cut very inconsiderate drivers off! But only after they really, really, really deserved it.
Had they taken the time to check in their rear view mirror and realize tailgating is a polite form of saying get the @#$%@#$!! out of the left lane, you $#@$$%#&&*# , I would never need to pull my pedal punch. But as the christians say, "There is a devil, at ever corner, waiting to tempt you into sin."

I just didn't realize it meant, literally, every street corner!

Blondes don't like being driven crazy on the road!!

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