A Bone To Pick

How to explain a chicken leg to a child:

The Blonde Version:

Child, you know chicken nuggets. Well, this is a chicken drum, it has a bone in it. Just eat the meat around the outside and put the bone on your plate.

The neurotic, micro-managing older model Mom version:

Child! That is a chicken with a bone!
You can't eat that! You are only 4. Just because you know every name of the Star Wars characters and you have a full set of teeth and you can use the bathroom doesn't mean you can eat a chicken drum with 4 adults watching and sitting next to you in case you bite the bone and it could splinter into a thousand pieces and lodge into your tummy where it could start bleeding and then we would have to rush you to the hospital where they will have to take a large needle and sew up the holes that poked through your tummy because your Aunt was crazy enough to give you chinese chicken drum!!!

I would use punctuation but since my sister doesn't take a breath during her rants and I didn't want to lose the essence with coherent sentences...

The Blonde's eardrum is splintered!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment