I am not climbing aboard just quite yet.
Trying to ride the subway today was just like the first time I tried to jump off the high dive. Once I was up on the board I couldn't let go of the hand rails to walk the plank of doom. I wanted to come back down the ladder quicker than a ho on a man's ying yang!!
I was not ready and although they tried to block me and encourage me to jump, I was not about to attempt something I wasn't ready for!
I feel the same way today about the rail system. I am not ready. I stood at the top of the stairs that lead down to the platform. I felt I was 12 years old again and having to shut the lights off downstairs in the wine cellar. I would carefully walk down the hollowed stairwell, listen for the boogie man or any sign of creepy creatures, then quietly lean over without leaving the last step to flip the switch, and run like a jack rabbit banshee up the stairs to the monster free zone.
I am still walking and desperately wanting the comfort of my wheels left back home but I am determined to try again tomorrow. I will be brave and walk down the stairs of adversity and peak at my fears...
Without letting my foot of the safety step.
Blondes don't like going down!!