6.11.2008

No Pussy Allowed

Keeping cats off your furniture and your fresh laundry is like asking the pope to keep priests off the pulpit boys.

I have always found a water pistol my best friend when it came to teaching my babies that claws on Mummy’s new Italian leather sofa was a big No-No and could end up in having their fur and tails stripped from their bodies as punishment for such a crime.

Of course threats don't work with cats because they don't care what you want. They care what they want!

Now having joined ranks with a cool group of rag top owners a new problem has emerged. Miss Sophie and her 18 pounds of Twinkie defying acrobats has put a cat butt divot in my convertible top; and this we absolutely can not have!!

For Gah sakes she is puckering the top in. I think I have to kill her. I can’t give her away no one will have her. She eats the equivalent of three times her morbidly obese kitty cat poundage in canned food and she isn’t picky to her plate. She will eat as fast as she can and than move over to the other cat’s plates. Unleash her in an all you can eat buffet and she would bankrupt the eatery.

I thought keeping the top soaked with water would deter my little trailer park beauty feline queen…nope…I walk out to see a mash of white and pink fur all over my freshly washed top.

Seeing as I can’t be there to squirt her with my water pistol every time she warps my world, I have decided to take her to the spa and have her fur waxed off, tail chopped, and stomach sucked in to solve the problem. I don’t know, maybe to really teach her its not nice to ruin Mummy’s things, I will get her lips injected and put her in a beauty pageant in Beaumont.


I think she might actually have a chance of winning.


Blondes think beauty pageants are a crime!!

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