I can’t win the lottery

But somehow, I can find my way in direct line of fire with a bird's arse just as its about to shiat.


I have been crapped on by birds all my life. Technically its been four times in my life but how many times has a bird poo-ed on vouz?

I understand in Italy it’s a good luck sign but I am not in Italy!!
I'm in the US of A. Its just an audobanical butt bomb without the accent.

You try to be cool in your rag top at a red light looking all hip. Cute guy pulls up to you.

Your cool, you glance!

He’s cool. He glances!

Its all cool.



Last time, I was in San Antone the night after hanging with Collective Soul at Dirty’s on the River Walk.

Thinking, Im cool!


The time before that I was hanging at San Luis in Galveston. On holiday!! Looking fine after a day at the spa. Parading around the pool in my new bikini.


Is it my hair? Do I send some super beacon of light that sends some gamma signal to these feathery beasts that stirs up their bowels and drop a bird butt loogy on me?


Plunk, Plunk!!!!

Is God sending me a signal from the heavens to watch my ego? Keep me in check somehow or does he just get a kick picking on the Blonde when she is feeling pretty darn smug of herself?



Geeez, JeeeZusssss!!

Blondes can doo without…seriously!!.

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