Silk Stockings...

...are an absolute must if you are to wear garters. I know this because I made the mistake of wearing non-silk stockings with a stretch lace garter today. I could not keep the garter from stretching down around the middle of my bum requiring frequent visits behind closed elevator doors and bathroom stalls, and my shoes kept slipping off every 5 or 6 steps because the slickness of the polyester grossness of the stocking. Thank God this building doesn't have surveillance in every corridor. I must looked like some lunatic who ducks into corners to get off on some kind of bad foot and stocking fetish.

Synthetic materials are made of melted plastic and thus slick and non-breathable and for certain very important areas of the body--it is crucial our fabric breaths. Its also very, very important that fabrics not cause embarrassing spastic episodes in the stair well of the office complex!!

I don't know why I thought I could get away with buying lingerie from Frederic's of Hollywood and turn it into more than just novelty underwear...

Blondes shouldn't bargain shop!!

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