I went to Neiman Marcus to pick out some christmas favors and low and behold did to my wandering nose appear?
Making my eyes water up as if they caught winter wonderdust?
Someone ripped a huge one in between the glass entry way of the store letting the sun bake in and heat the odor to a remarkably potent stench.
Open the second glass doors and the waft of perfume mixed with the fartabulous that almost brought me to my knees!!
What the F?
For fart that is..
What kind of jack arse does this sort of thing?
I can only think of one and duh, wouldn;t you know..it would be someone I went out with.
We went to the Celtics / Lakers game and in the elevator crammed full of body heat, he rips a silencer.
I knew it was him even if his face stayed plain as day. After all, he was my date.
Who else would be such a putz?
Anyhoo,
I left Neimans unable to take the vibrant mix of holiday arse spirits.
The Blonde hopes this season you keep your hot air to yourself!!!
12.15.2010
12.09.2010
Its Over!!
Fall semester did not close with a bang but more a close 'C' thud.
I pulled off a 3.5 GPA but I need a 3.7 to close the deal on law school.
I will make a point not to sign up for dating sites next semester.
Dating is too damn time consuming.
Shaving
Shopping
Make up
Hair
Nails
blah, blah, blah.....
It takes at least 3 hours to pull your look together for potential boyfriends.
10 dates x 3 hours = a crap load of time taken away each week from studying.
I am simplifying next semester.
I have my classes and my 2 men booked for the semester.
Now I can relax and enjoy my holiday season .
Look out Apsen, here I come!!
The Blonde is booked solid!!!
I pulled off a 3.5 GPA but I need a 3.7 to close the deal on law school.
I will make a point not to sign up for dating sites next semester.
Dating is too damn time consuming.
Shaving
Shopping
Make up
Hair
Nails
blah, blah, blah.....
It takes at least 3 hours to pull your look together for potential boyfriends.
10 dates x 3 hours = a crap load of time taken away each week from studying.
I am simplifying next semester.
I have my classes and my 2 men booked for the semester.
Now I can relax and enjoy my holiday season .
Look out Apsen, here I come!!
The Blonde is booked solid!!!
12.05.2010
The Ups and Downs of 69
I am not one to blab about the boudoire or what happens inside other than a bit of generality and I am not about to start.
I do, however, do like to get in creative debates during happy hour with friends and since politics and religion is taboo and absolute no fun...sex is the next best thing.
We settled on the topic of karma sutra and how do crazy positions, while spice thing up, and keeps the bed from a bore fest, ultimately is just plain stupid.
At least that was my argument.
How the he--double hockey sticks do you concentrate on one end while the other end is being worked on.
It can't be done to equal satisfaction, something has to give.
If anyone is screaming for pleasure they certainly aren't working the sucking vortex you need to make the other one moan.
I just think there are better ways of using positions, like moving your arse to a hot tub, shower, or outside under the moon.
There are 72 positions in the karma sutra and this is only one.
I hold my tongue until I try the rest.
That's the Blondes position on things!!
I do, however, do like to get in creative debates during happy hour with friends and since politics and religion is taboo and absolute no fun...sex is the next best thing.
We settled on the topic of karma sutra and how do crazy positions, while spice thing up, and keeps the bed from a bore fest, ultimately is just plain stupid.
At least that was my argument.
How the he--double hockey sticks do you concentrate on one end while the other end is being worked on.
It can't be done to equal satisfaction, something has to give.
If anyone is screaming for pleasure they certainly aren't working the sucking vortex you need to make the other one moan.
I just think there are better ways of using positions, like moving your arse to a hot tub, shower, or outside under the moon.
There are 72 positions in the karma sutra and this is only one.
I hold my tongue until I try the rest.
That's the Blondes position on things!!
12.01.2010
Playing in Urban
I have been living it up urban style with my new out -of -town beau in a hotel suite downtown this week. Ughhh!!
Not the beau!
...the hotel thing in your home town isn't quite as posh as living it up in another town. Not to mention, I did a crap pack job and was too lazy to drive the distance to el casa to refill my wardrobe.
I forgot saline solution, toothpaste, hairspray, curling iron and panties.
I was working in third world fashion and makeup mode.
I could have gone the 8 mile distance to get the stuff I forgot but I never made it past happy hour.
Neither did my car!
I crashed the side into a wall for the second time this month. The first time I was being bullied by a prick in an SUV coming out of the narrow garage opening and I tried nice - inched over too far and scraped the bee jee bees out of my vehicle.
Nice ended the moment I felt the scraping and before douche could blink - my window was down and douche came rushing out of my curled up lips faster than the Stig can stear a Ferarri FXX around a lap.
After all his car shoving you think he would have stood his ground but instead he backed up an dwent the other way.
Was that so hard?
Couldn't he have done it before I wrecked the side of my vanden plas?
The second time might have been one of those incidences where wine may or may not have been involved. I am not confessing to anything especially since the car slots at the boutique hotel were meant for skinny asian spinner cars and not my luxury sedan.
Trying to park my car downtown when I am used to parking in suburban sprawl is like putting a sweater on my cat.
Its hard and you end up getting scratched up!!
Anyhoo, I totally have a story on 69 but I am trying to spread the blog wealth so check back in a few.
The Blonde is back in her element!!
Not the beau!
...the hotel thing in your home town isn't quite as posh as living it up in another town. Not to mention, I did a crap pack job and was too lazy to drive the distance to el casa to refill my wardrobe.
I forgot saline solution, toothpaste, hairspray, curling iron and panties.
I was working in third world fashion and makeup mode.
I could have gone the 8 mile distance to get the stuff I forgot but I never made it past happy hour.
Neither did my car!
I crashed the side into a wall for the second time this month. The first time I was being bullied by a prick in an SUV coming out of the narrow garage opening and I tried nice - inched over too far and scraped the bee jee bees out of my vehicle.
Nice ended the moment I felt the scraping and before douche could blink - my window was down and douche came rushing out of my curled up lips faster than the Stig can stear a Ferarri FXX around a lap.
After all his car shoving you think he would have stood his ground but instead he backed up an dwent the other way.
Was that so hard?
Couldn't he have done it before I wrecked the side of my vanden plas?
The second time might have been one of those incidences where wine may or may not have been involved. I am not confessing to anything especially since the car slots at the boutique hotel were meant for skinny asian spinner cars and not my luxury sedan.
Trying to park my car downtown when I am used to parking in suburban sprawl is like putting a sweater on my cat.
Its hard and you end up getting scratched up!!
Anyhoo, I totally have a story on 69 but I am trying to spread the blog wealth so check back in a few.
The Blonde is back in her element!!
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