Why Its a Blonde Life

There is nothing else to blame the realities of my life on other than it being a blonde's life.

A blonde's life does not care that I had a fabulous time in Canada; it does not care that I might have, possibly met the 'one'; nor does it care that I need fresh water to bathe and have my morning coffee, and brush my teeth.

A blonde's life wants to make sure I appreciate everything that I am temporarily given and that I should not take anything for granted.

After living a fabulous weekend and creating in my head how that weekend should play out in the years to come, I was slammed with the reality of my life here at home.

The main water line to the house broke and Boo (also blonde) and I tried to help Big Daddy by spending 6 hours digging and replacing the broken pipe.

Here is where the double blonde whammy comes in.

We fixed the wrong pipe!

Actually we hit the good pipe with a pick ax and had to replace it only to discover the leak came from another pipe just beneath it.

We also used the wrong joints to fix the pipe. Apparently, there is a little something, something called water pressure and the rubber clampy things we tried to use, aren't enough to create a solid seal and our work was burst into water flames the minute we turned on the aqua flow.

Needless to say we brought in a professional to repair our damage and the original leak.

Seeing as my body is not used to hard manual labor, it rejected any good sleep I might have needed and opted for a restless one, with stiff muscles and joint pain, instead.

This morning I went to turn my head and I heard a crack and a crunch.

I thought to myself, that's not good.

And it wasn't.

I now have to keep my head cocked to a 33 degree angle to the right and if I dare try to turn my head to the left, my knees buckle.

Here is the fun part.

Oh, yes...it gets better!!

I am supposed to leave for a 'Clouds in the Sky' kind of Napa dream filled holiday this Saturday.


Its also the beginning of the month, which means its a whole new endeavor to make my monthly credit payments and I will have to work cock-eyed and to the right if anything is to get done.

I wonder if the universe is telling me to just give up and accept my sad little happy life, or if it might just one allow me to have the only dream I have ever had since I was little, and a chance to expand my world to be incredible.

I would tell you what my dream is, but you can guess, besides I don't need anything else to jinx me up.

The Blonde is living under unusual circumstances

Crazy as a Bat

I have to briefly interrupt my adventures of Canada for a 'Mother' news flash.

I am not a Doctor although my Mother thinks I am. She was bit by something while outside feeding her fish. The bite grew from a spider to a bat mawling her undetected and all she needed to come up with this scenario is her very inventive mind, a television special on bats, and a hair ball one of the cats tossed up on the driveway.

Only my Mother can take a mosquito bite and turn it into an attack of a very quick and stealth bat that can fly into her hair, bite her head, and get out like a bee.

Her little bite now has claw marks and teeth marks and the poison is spreading throughout her body.

She has a stiff neck, pain in her arm, and she thinks the hairball has remnants of chewed up bat wings, a small head, and an undigested claw.


If she is not dead by morning we are sending her to the hospital for diagnosis...

for the bite

and then...


for her mental health.


If we let this bat bite progress to more theory, my cats will end up in kitty jail while my Mother gets rabies shots for the next 3 months.

This reminds me of the time she thought a broken coke bottle and wire sticking out of cement was an attempt by terrorists to blow up our neighborhood entrance.


Don't ask


The Blonde is holding onto her sanity!

Blonde Moment 791

Even in Canada I have simple little blonde moments. I was staying with my friend in his fab Toronoto loft and saw this sculpture on his fireplace. I thought it was a brilliant art piece. Of course I wanted to go up and touch it. Why I want to touch art, I have no idea but it drives the pinkertons in museums crazy.

Anyhoo,

I touched it

I screamed

It was rubbery and for a blonde moment

I thought it was real

live

but dead

or stuffed

or something.



It was a child's rubber play toy!

Toronto Jazz Festival Picture Expose 2009

The Blonde knows Toronto rocks!!

Kanoodling Around Canada

I am romping around Canada and gathering some adventurous tales for yee all.

The Blonde is jazzed!