3.09.2009

Those Snakes

How utterly apropos is it to find this lingering outside my door as I left to deal with the bank?While banks, on a whole, are as slithery as my new found friend, their employees are not hideous creatures and are willing to help a blonde out. All my charges were reversed by a super handsome bank manager called Eduardo.

The Blonde is back in the garden of green!!!

We Don't Need No Stinkin Banks, Man!

I have a plethora of funny and fab tales but unfortunately today is the day I have to clear up some bank fraud with my account and prepare my taxes, so needless to say, my humor is on hold.

Bank of America is a good bank but they are a sneaky little outfit sometimes. Twice they have double debited items and if it were not for my deliciously low funds, I would not catch their errors.
Due to bounce fees without a negative and without transactions to account for it, I have caught them once again.
I can only wonder how many people don't catch banks accounting glitches and pay the $35 fee thinking they are at fault. I guess it only becomes a problem when billions of dollars are at stake.

In times of economic struggle I understand thievery is on the rise but its easier to spot your missing bike than it is to see how fraudulent accounting practices end up hurting the average blonde and everyone else with darker shades of hair.

Banks and credit card companies are the new Bonnie and Clyde of our times. They may not carry guns but they are definitely shooting off the hand that feeds their greed.

The Blonde is policing banks today!!

3.06.2009

My Iphones Funky Foot Fetish










My iphone has spawned into a voyeur. It seems the sneaky shutterbug, has a thing for my feet. Every time I try to use the camera feature for a quick pose, my trusty little cell uses its little camera icon button to deceive me into a foot photo.

I am trying hard not to judge my iphone but it is a little creepy if you ask me. I was thinking about putting my iphone into therapy but I can't find a Doctor willing to work with the little guy.

Go figure?!

I think therapy for my iphone and my electronics would be appreciated. I could get my toaster to stop burning my toast over feelings of being inadequate next to the microwave. A therapist could have told me to move it to the counter near the wimpy can opener to give it positive self image.

Maybe I can find some alternative therapy like a hypnotist that would be willing to work with my iphone's fetish, my can opener's desire to squirt tuna juice, and my alarm clocks unwillingness to reset itself to snooze a few times instead of making me do it.

The Blonde has some ill thoughts!!

3.05.2009

Bloom and Doom

I want to feel like this:






but I feel like this

The Blonde is under the weather!!

3.03.2009

Dallas Wants to Eat My Mini Cow

Dallas wants to raise mini cows and turn them into sliders at your local brew pub.

And while I love sliders, especially with cheese...I do not want to think that one of those tasty treats had a name, or was a pet!

Dallas can have mini cows for milking only!!

He can evaporate the milk, bottle it in cute glass baby bottles with pink ribbon, and sell it as 'mini moo-moo milk bath' in exclusive boutiques in New York and LA.

But he will not be raising them to send to the butcher.

How can you even think of looking in those big mini cow eyes and telling them they are going to be baby back ribs at Chilis?!




Blondes are chickening out!!