2.07.2009

Oh Lord

Here comes the family!

You know the real pain in knowing someone is ill, is in the family dynamics that accompanies this knowledge. All of the sudden everyone goes into crisis mode. When slapped in the face with someone's life span coming to a close, we can't help but look at the bruise of our own mortality in the mirror and the rationalities we have been making for our own lives.

Holy Cow!!

Here comes everyone trying to resolve everything.

Dear family,

Chill out.

Don't be coming here with a heap of remorse about anything you have ever done. For Christ sakes we all know each other way too well to ever hold each others issues as personal attack against one another.

We are an emotional family.

We have issues.

We have complaints.

We have arguments.

That is who we are.

But we also love each other so much that it hurts us when one of us is hurting.

I don't want anyone hurting so I am going to spare you the emotional turmoil that you like to whip up in drama time by asking you to ask yourself one simple little, itty, bitty question.


Do you love your family?

Yes!!

Yes you do!!

That is all you need to ask yourself.

That is all you need to know to resolve past issues that are old plays and need not to find a new stage.

All this ridiculousness of thinking we didn't do enough to show our love is ridiculous. I know my family and yes, we are all, the biggest pain in the rears since the elephant began walking this earth, but we love each other for better or worse and there isn't anyone in our family that doesn't know that.

So when you come here, enjoy the fighting, the nit picking, the teasing, the laughing, the joking, the crying and most importantly enjoy the big glorious dysfunctional orgy that is our family.


Blondes can't wait for the fun to begin!!

2.06.2009

Big Blue Eyes


Did you know if you cry all day that you can make your eyes look like they have been beaten in by a rabid boxing kangaroo?

My eyes are so swollen and dark from rubbing them all day that I look like one of the Olsen twins on a cocaine binge.

Today, my number one goal is to get through it without crying. If I rub my eye sockets anymore, my eyeballs are going to pop out of my head and roll down the street to get away from my emotional wreck of a head.

I am going to fail miserably because I know I have to go with Momo and Boo to see Big Daddy today but my goal is to get to through the hospital's sliding doors before weeping like a willow.

The Blonde isn't seeing clearly!!!

2.04.2009

Endowment

I take little steps to perfect my appearance, like most Blondes do.

long hair
bronzer
make up
shaving
waxing
butt tightening exercises
pedicures
manicures

Blondes go through a lot to look good for our self and male attention. We could care less of what other women think of us. After all, this isn't a competition. Its just about being a Blonde.

I know there will always be someone prettier, thinner, hotter, and younger than me.
The most I can do is be happy about myself, and what makes me happy, is feeling good about my looks.

In my quest for superficial satisfaction I have been sporting fake french tips for a while and enjoy them. I do have trouble with a few things because of them but they aren't life threatening unless I need to call 911 in a hurry, which is near impossible, considering my nails get in the way of punching the telephone keys.

Other than dialing and texting, I never viewed my nails as a problem, until today. Today, I went to the store for some vitamins and when I went to pay for them, some coins dropped from my wallet. The woman behind me, who looked like she was using every ounce of her last dollar to buy groceries for the week said, "You dropped your change, aren't you gonna get it?"

My normal reply is no, it is just change, but I didn't want her to think I was above the economic hardship of everyone else, so I tried to pick a quarter up just to prove to myself that I am not above anyone.

That squabbly little round coin refused to tip into my hand. I looked like an idiot trying to grab a quarter that someone had glued to the floor. I was literally squatting on the floor trying to pick up a quarter I could care less about just to appease some stranger!

What is wrong with this picture?

Every time I try to make myself seem like a better person by being guilted into an action I am not comfortable with, I end up looking like an idiot. So what, if I don't care about my change? Someone else can use it and I see it as charity. How much nicer do I need to be?

Next time, I am sticking to my instinct to leave anything under a dollar on the floor.

I stood up in disgust, thinking I shouldn't have gone for the coin, for any reason or anyone. If she was so concerned, why didn't she help me pick the change up? Maybe she just likes making a Blonde look down on her luck, to make her feel better about herself, which is funny, because that is what I tried to do, by picking up the darn coin in the first place!

I looked back at the woman and just said, "If I need a quarter that bad, I will stop getting my nails done." I paid for my vits and left.

Afterward, I shook off the incident by going to a local boutique and bought a dress a size too small and a price tag too big to justify a half a yard of paper thin cotton fabric, but I fell in love with it and that made it seem worthy of its price. It is a hot little dress with a lace up front. I tried to fix the laces but my nails wouldn't let me loosen the knot.

I thought karma is kicking me because I was arrogant about my loose change but then I remembered, I can't tie my shoes, put on my bracelets, or button my bra strap in back because of my fake tips.

Its not karma, its just the stupidity I have to go through for being enslaved to my looks.

Thank God!!




Blondes don't stoop for money!!

Detoxing at The V Spa

I have been going a little harder, on weekends, than I should and it is time to check out of the scene for a bit, or at least this week before the weekend starts again.

I am hiding low and working on staying in shape. I don't like to exercise too much, I am afraid my body might get used to it and demand a daily regimen, and if I fail it will turn against me and become my enemy in the war to stay thin and young.

I have noticed people who take their sports to extremes tend to look older and unnatural, especially women; their cut muscles and over tanned skin look unappealing to me in the sense that I do not wish to mimic them. I do, however, like to stay healthy and unfortunately sex isn't included in the physical sport arena.

I prefer living in moderation with everything. When I feel my life is unbalanced in one direction, like going out too much or writing too much, I recorrect it and work on a part of my life that has been neglected and for now that is my physical well being.

We all need to reassess our situation as often we can. We need to know and understand when our world needs more time for work, more time for play, more time for relationships, or more time to goof off and be as decadent as Bacchus...or less of it!

The Blonde is busy being a moderate!!!

2.02.2009

The Promise Land

How many promises have been broken over the years?

We all have made them, we all have broken them.

Promises made in front of an alter, in front of God and family, only to say...Oops..I really just meant the better part; I was crossing my fingers when I said I would stick around for the worst.

I guess I am a bit cynical about marriage because I have been single for so long. I hear too many stories of bad break ups and divorces. It scares me to think I will end up being someones mistake, only to become their entertaining fodder of evil relationships to a future date.

I have to consider the fact that I have a few gents out there that carry on about me in a negative light; but I am fairly certain it was not because I was really a bad seed but more a sour apple that didn't fit their tastes.

I have a few antidotes of my own that I share with new dates but it is more along the lines of why we didn't fit, as opposed to trashing someone to make me look like an angel.

I have no idea why I haven't traveled down the long isle that turns down the marriage road. I guess, I have never found the one that I think I can spend my life with. If I ever marry, I would like to think it will be the promise I never break. But the more I hear about marriage from the unhappy sector, and the more I read about Internet sites that placate to adultery, like its the new therapy for dysfunctional marriages, I have to wonder?

Is the gesture of a wedding just a symbolic joke?

Do people marry for love anymore?

Or do they marry to keep up appearances and hold onto the old myth of the American dream?

I saw "Revolutionary Road" and while it swung more to the dramatic sense of a dismal life for those who want more than what society dictates, there were some very valid points to be made to those that fall prey to the antiquated version of a family.

Too often, rules of the social norm get twisted into a deformed sense of reality. And from this twisted thought of reality, comes the very real and ugly end to many of the futile relationships it spawned.

Too many children's lives are disrupted by the anger of divorce, and by parents, that are so selfish in their desire to hurt one another, because they refuse to take responsibility for their half of a failed marriage; and too many children are put through endless battles they must witness before dinner time, because Mummy and Daddy are staying together, no matter how much they dislike each other, for the sake of them.

This is the 21st century and children of single parent households can be just as well adjusted, if not more, than children in a two parent household and probably more adjusted than their peers in a divorced household. And just to set the record straight, if you are a divorced parent and share custody, you are not a single parent.

Modern day relationships have no ability to handle a life long commitment. The "Save Marriage Act" is a joke. Why is our democracy involving themselves in a dispute of what a marriage is based on a religious definition? What ever happened to the separation of church and state?
Didn't we flee Britain because the church had too much say in our lives?

Marriages are failing all around us, not because of the sexual orientation of partners, but because sexual desires aren't being met in the bedroom.

Grow Up America...because the world is growing around you and the vintage version of life taught in the 5 minute sermon between the musical entertainment at your Mega Church is promising a dead end.

Blondes are taking a higher road of education!!