7.11.2012

Selfish People



Selfish people will not help anyone that might be a blip in their harmonious lives.

They buy new cars, add a pool to their backyard and call their family only when they are bored and need to kill time while they drive to their destinations.

And they consider this being attentive to their family. And at the end, they will hold out their hand and expect their part of the pie in the will.

And not once do they acknowledge the depth of commitment and care that another family member provides.

Why would they?


They have never stuck around long enough to witness what extent that person goes through to care for family.

They are happily oblivious to the nature of care that is needed until the very end. They will come rushing up against the side of the death bed and  boo hoo...

And that will satisfy their guilt when the will is read.





Selfish greedy people make the Blonde deathly ill.


7.09.2012

Our Oceans Are Full of Buried Treasure

Apparently I do not have to go off to international waters. I just need to be 3 miles off shore and weighted properly to sink in 600 ft of water. And no funeral director is required. No casket is required. Just a dead body with a toe tag and some decent cement shoes.

Bonus for me on the charter boat and and dingy mark. I can just wait to die on the boat and be dropped mafia style 600 ft below.

Please God let it not be off the shores of the ugliest beach in the world known as the Gulf Coast.

YeeHaa!!

The Blonde is resting at peace right now because she saved a bundle on burial costs!

A Big Year




It can all be yours one day but you have to fight for it.


The Blonde hopes you get it all!!!

New Found Respect For Dreads

I do not have the dedication nor patience to deal with dreadlocks. After spending hours waxing and teasing spirals in my hair, I have determined its a look best served surf side.

If I was at the beach with my puka shell choker, bikini, and surfboard...it would look hot.

But in the real world....dreads need to be nurtured and maintained beyond anything my blonde hair has ever known.

Who can sleep with waxed, teased hair under pantyhose at night until its sets. It takes 6 months to set.

I have yet to get all the tangle out and I have washed my hair several times.

Its not a big deal since I am not on a regiment of outings other than to the local grocery to buy canned cat food for my cats. You can be sick and the cats have no sympathy for you if their food bowl is not filled with scrumptious canned delicacy of mystery meat early in the morning and dinner time.

While my hair de-tangles I have been looking at burial options.

If you thought dying was expensive, death is even more so.

I have found Cosco supplies an assortment of coffins in the $300 range. But family will still have to pay for the morgue, mortuary, embalming, grave site...etc....


Its a business you might want to consider because its truly a money maker.

I say coffin but the politer term is casket.

Either semantic still does not help the residual cost of burial.
I could cremate but it is as expensive as embalming. But Cosco does offer a discount ash jar too.

For half the price, I can charter a boat with a dingy into international waters. The boat will leave me floating in a dingy and I will margaritaville it until death kicks in and I can give myself a Vikings Funeral without any cost of body claim.

Either way, I want to thank the Republicans for stopping Obamacare before I finish law school. They will save me the student loan repay they hiked the interest rate up on.

The Blonde is locking in her early demise as cheaply as she can!









7.06.2012

Dreadlocks

I am having a good day today.

I can;t do much but I can sit and watch old movies and twist my hair with wax and make dreadlocks.

I always wanted dreadlocks but I was so busy being what everyone wnated me to be or what I needed to be to get someone to like me that I never really got to do the things that made me....


ME...


I have been at it for 5 hours now.

Its tiring to hold up your arms and twist and tease and wax an inch of your hair at a time.

And its a shame I won't see the locks as they should be since it takes 6 months to a year to truly tighten but I like it.

I wish I did it when I had the chance to show them off.


When my friend and I get busy on my obit, it will not be a glowing review of a fearless life.

The worst thing about my life is knowing I was not brave.

I must have held a great act for many years because if you ask people who knew me...they would say I was 'intimidating'.

I must have been a great actor. Too bad I could not win an Oscar for my performance.


I do not believe n heaven and hell.

I believe in reincarnation.

I know I am headed to a new life and I only hope that in my next life...glimpses of this one will show up in my dreams.

I want a window to see my family.

I want a worm hole to come back if my son needs me.

I will not be buried.

I will not be cremated.

I am leaving soon on my own and will just fabulously disappear.

And if you ever wonder where I went...just look in the direction of the ocean when its a full moon.


The Blonde will be headed to Jamaica in her dreams!






7.05.2012

After Midnight

And the 4th of July is over.

I did not want to take away the celebration with my silly thoughts.

But, my blog is my savior because I have no one I trust to talk to.

My blog and animals are the only things I believe in these days; exception being my son but I would never burden him with more than he needs to know.

He has his own life to live and I will never make him my crutch.

I really hate parents that lean on children. We should be their rock; not the other way around.


Anyhoo,

I am leaving soon.

And I want to get as much random shit in as I can.



I will have to leave behind my cats, my son, my things, my life.

I am going somewhere new and I am going alone.

And I am angry that everyone else gets to stay here.

I want to stay here but I know I have to go.


Its fate.

And its time.


My path is paved and I was silly to think I could change it.

I am going where I am supposed to go.

I was hoping to stay but no matter what I tried...

it was never going to be.

Life is 80% your deal

and fate owning the other 20% of what yu wish you could deal with better.

But alas..

NO

FATE has no math skills and its a stubborn bitch who wins just because...


AND...

Understanding fate owns you ass even if you busted it to get away causes some ripple that will cause you to be mean to everyone.

And everyone your mean..totally deserves it!



On the fuller side of the empty glass....




Its funny who I think about these days.

I think about all the famous guys I never went to bed with but had the opportunity to.

I think about all the guys I did go to bed with but had the opportunity to say no.



I never slept with anyone I truly was in love with.



I never had that courage.


I know why the men I dated treated me the way that they did.

I would have done the same.

That is why I push them to find real love and know they never will.

We are drawn to the same species.


The Blonde is specie catagoria...Damagia Brokentalia














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