3.31.2011

Hibiscus with the Captain

Its been awhile since I sat down at Maudies to have hibiscus margs with the Captain and as usual it was an awe inspiring night of conversation.

This night was about past life regression and how you must make up for all the wrong in your past life to move forward in this life.

Personally, I must have been a real asshole in business and personal relations in mine but I will never be really sure since I won't be forking out $250 greenbacks to an 80 year old past regression hypnotist any time soon.

Besides, I might find out that I am a jerk in this life and just too blonde to realize it.

I do think I was pushed off a high building in my past life since I am not afraid of heights. I am just wicked scared of falling from them.

Anyhoo,

Back to the Captain.

He was a cowboy who was a real jerk to his bride and she was cheating on him. He found out and rode his horse until the horse tripped and he went head first into a rock and died. Which lead him into the life.

In this life he gets to meet up with all the people of his past who turn around and set karma straight on him and vice versa.

Of course, the girl who cheated on him in a former life, also did him wrong in his present life and she seems to be reaping some nice benefits playing the Captain and her not so Ex husband. Guess she will be paying karma coins in her next life.

Apparently, now...the Captain's biz partner died and the girl who did him wrong in both lives is pregnant. What if the Captain's biz partner gets reborn into the Captain Ex and it turns out to be the Captain;s baby?

Wouldn't that me a karmic whammie.

I am just wondering what the horse came back as to get his karmic retribution in this life for being rode to death in the Captain's past life.

So in this life....

The Captain is off to see the past regressionist tonight and I will get the rest of the scoop.

I am dying to know what I was in his past life. I hope I wasn't a madame in his past life, which means its my past life, but considering my present dating habits, it could explain a lot.


The Blonde is sweet on stories!

4000 Peeps and Counting

I checked my stats on the blog today and over 4000 peeps have been reading it.

Half of those are probably ex-dates.

I have had my share and more than a few blonde's shares put together.

Its my fault I can't keep a man because the ones I pick are not worth keeping.

It takes an average of 6 months to get through the charming stage and everyone begins to let their true hair down. That's when you really get a view if someone is worth keeping or not.

The problem with online dating is no one wants to date their own age. Men are looking for 10 years and younger and as a blonde femme, I am stuck with dating men 10 to 15 years older.

They are too set in their ways and not as much fun.

I still have a lot of young in me and I like dancing in my underwear to ACDC loudly while doing my hair and make up before I go out. Not something older dudes appreciate all the time.

I love that I can claim myself as one of the X gen. We have a lot of cool in us. I need an X gen guy to keep it going.

So I have revamped my online profile at millionairematch.com.

I know, I know... it sounds like a gold-digger site and I know that it is for most the crew but for me I like the free of charge aspect of it and its not like everyone has to be a million dollar baby on the site. I also like the fact that I won't be bombarded with booty call seekers like the one's on 'match' and 'loads of fish'.

I may not get any hits since I told the truth about my age, my finances, and what I am looking for. I did fail to disclaim that my car has a furry ass but too much, too soon is never a good thing.

My wants:

I want a man my age.

I want a man who doesn't have a lot of money.

I want a man that has fallen on hard times like I have.

I want a man that loves music and fun and knows who Max headrum is.


I want someone to share a life with and you can't do that moving into someone else's world.

You need to have the same world and grow it together; remember when we were twenty something? How fun was that?!!

I am going to be a lawyer in a few years. I will make tons of money pissing off people that piss me off every time I listen to the news. I am super animated and my voice carries. I will be superb in a court room setting.

Plus I am a Leo and a Blonde.

I love attention.

I will be super successful.

It would be great to hook up with a Madoff reject stock broker looking to rebuild his financial stats.


All I ask, is that they be cute, my age, and broke.


The Blonde is adding to her numbers!!

3.30.2011

Im in a No Call Zone

...and loving it!!

Doesn't it suck when you are dating someone and the phone seems to ring less and less on your end?

Obviously something is up and I just assume put my phone down.

I like not having to worry about if someone is going to call or not call.

Its really irritating carrying a phone around that doesn't ring.

I am not attached at the hip to my little cell.

If I am bored, I don't start texting people.

I tweet (@ blindedbyblonde) instead.

Less invasive, at least for my friends!!

Anyhoo,

Another dude bit the dust and its not like a I had real hopes for it anyway.

I am just burnt on long distanceships...they don't end up anywhere other than on a bed for a bootie call and I can get that anytime and anywhere in my zip code.

I don't need to pack and fly off somewhere for it.

Of course with the radio ads toting Austin as having a high rate of syphilis, I detached my special lady part and am keeping safely at home next to my cell.


The Blonde is not in!!

3.29.2011

Burning at Both Ends

Its such a struggle to keep on top of the bills these days.

I am not alone many small shops are closing their doors. Austin's 'Books Without Borders' is one of those online stores that is shutting down. Books somehow don't have much value these days. Even giant super book stores like Borders is closing shop.

Its a shame...I love books...the paper kind...its just so nice to read a real book instead of on an Ipad, Iphone, or laptop. I read enough online...I like to detox from the internet with a good paperback.

But with the cost of gas all those nice little things we like to buy are on hold.

I haven't sold anything since gas jumped to $3.50.

I don't get it. Gas costs more but you get 10% less of it since they put ethanol in it.

Corn sucks for my little engine that runs.

Corn lobbyists have taken over top spot for douche awards knocking cotton lobbyists down a nocth.

Remember Woody Harrelson being arrested for growing hemp because it was tainted by the cotton lobbyists as a Mary Jane plant?

Columbia sells cocaine to the US because the cotton lobbyists locked the import of cotton from them. I guess Karma is a biatch.

And what about catnip? which is a form of the pot plant...I don't see cotton lobbyists coming down hard on cats that get high off the stuff.

And when it comes to ethanol, it sucks for most cars. My furry little jag is drinking oil a lot more heavily but than again so am I.

At least I am not guzzling down a bottle of corn syrup that was advertised as a healthy ingredient to children's cereals and juices.

Kidd-O-besity starts with corn syrup.

Who are they kidding?

Anyhoo,

If I don't get something to improve on my money end, I will be making a corn stalk house and stalk piled bed somewhere.

Its a bitch to be broke but its even more of salt in the wound when companies are just raping the villagers.

Where is our Robin Hood?

Can he jump out of the pages of an old paperback, put on a batman suit and beat the crap out of politicians who allow raping and pillaging of the consumer in the name of friendly political donations?


The Blonde needs to put out some fires!!!

3.26.2011

I Am

remarkable...

On the outside, to people looking in, I may not seem so but I am.

I wake up every morning in a 10 x 12 room with my things stuffed to the walls and up to the ceiling and the rest of my world is stacked in a 20 x 10 storage unit packed in like sardines in a can...

yet I find a way to get up everyday and smile and think that something good is going to happen.

I am remarkable because I refuse to give up.

My ancient auto has fur stuck to its trunk and a giant gash in the side but I drive it with my head held high.

That makes me remarkable.

I am going to the university with kids half my age and I don't feel old.

That makes me remarkable.

I dance, I play my guitar, and I laugh all alone on Friday nights...

and that makes me remarkable.

I stare at my tiny room while looking at large homes in the newest edition of Architectural Digest and I don't get jealous; just maybe a little down...


I just think to myself, "How lucky the owners are to have such a pretty home."

and that makes me remarkable.

I struggle to find the money every month just to pay my bills on time and it takes me three times as long to study for an exam because I have ADD...yet

I do it.

I carry on.

And I find a way to smile...


That makes for a remarkable Blonde!!

3.25.2011

Simply The Best

The best relationship you can have is the one with your best friend and when he is the opposite sex, its even better.

Can you just imagine how fabulous life would be just living out yours with your best friend?

I am happy single and the only thing that would improve my personal life is if I was able to find a best friend to booty it up with.

Dating sucks. Especially now where everyone thinks your out to take advantage of them.

Its different in your twenties where only a few hearts were broken.

Now that I am in the range where everyone is divorced and has been burned..oh my gah!!!

You can't find one person without a chip on there shoulder about something.

Me included.

I hate the fact that I never burned anyone but every guy I go out with is on the look out to see if I am on the take.

You know what?

Go take yourself to another chick.

That is what I have to say.

I spent the day with Augusto and while we are best freinds..its without the booty fun and sleep overs.

But I will take it.

I will take my friday afternoons.

I will take the tennis, the hiking, the general laughing over sangria at Los Palomas. Excellent pibil, by the way.

I will take just that little bit every Friday because its better than looking for some tool online again.

For now,

I am suffering through financial hurdles and that is not attractive to any suitor so I just assume not date the suits.

I am much happier not looking for anyone anymore.

If a best friend happens to cultivate out of the blue in some weird mishap of a chance encounter, than yeah.

But if not, yeah to me too for being happy and not desperate.

The Blonde likes the better part of things!!

3.23.2011

Bravo!! Mon Ami

Vous avez leur liberte'!!

You have your freedom!!

You did not dance with the divorce devil and grabbed onto more important things.

Bravo!!

Bravo!!

Money is important, don't get me wrong. I know! I suffer from not having it!

Mais (but) quand (when) tu ( you) avais (have) assez (enough) livre (to live) sur (on)...vous choississez vivre ( you choose to live)!!

You choose to live!!

Live with reckless abandonment for a few days and than live happy and alone for awhile...and than find love again.

And maybe love isn't from another. Maybe the love you need is your own.

Love yourself.

I don't want to get all 'eat, pray and lov' on the subject...many movies cover that but there is a reason.

It is true.

Il est vrai!!

So many of us do not have the chance to live in the moment. We are in survival mode but that too will change.

We need only to keep saying to ourselves...it will be alright.

Say it over and over and over....


Do not let lack of money break you.

You change your phone, you ignore creditors...and one day when you are back on your feet...you will get caught up.

You may have fallen but you are far from down.

I say that all the time and its helped me.


The Blonde will brave it with you!!!

3.21.2011

Divorce is Your Mistress Now

I tried to open up my arms and let you embrace something other than a volatile situation but you are choosing to embrace your divorce.

Divorce is your mistress.

The courts are your bitch.

I tried to offer a loving hand to hold onto but you chose to push me aside.

So good luck with your life.

I don't envy you.

But I don't support you either.

Your life is on the line?

No its not...your money is.

You will find trying to hold on to life is 10 times the work.

And when it comes to divorce, she is the meanest bitch you will ever meet.

When she feels she has burnt you, all she can, she will try to burn those around you.

The divorce will try to get phone records, credit card charges, and wrap up anyone you have been seeing during your separation...

and take them down.


And I am not willing to go down for someone who told me 'yeah, we got it..your life is hard"



The Blonde hopes you have a happy life too!!

Erase Your Mistakes

In life you can't erase your faux pas but you can learn from them; all those little mistakes add up and if your smart, you take the opportunity to seize and correct them.

I have the same situation in french class.

I quickly jotted down the questions I heard on my audio CDs to answer them in correct form.

I forgot to erase my french jotting which is the equivalent of gibberish.

I got the answers right but my french teacher deducted 5 points for my gibberish and it wasn't even part of the homework!!

He is tough but I don't view it as unfair.

I see it as someone making me work harder to be better at what I want to do or become.

I think their is a love hate relationship between me and my professor but its OK because I am going to beat the hater out of him.

I am not in this for a quick giggle and a credits. I am in this to learn french.

Just like tennis.

I only play with those better than me because it drives me to be better.

It would be great if we all hung out with better people to propel us to be better as human beings but so many settle.

Not me!!

I am surrounding myself with those who want to be better and so far that leaves....

Um....

Zero...

Come on peeps...let's all learn to be better and work on ourselves.

The Blonde is learning from her faux pas!!!

3.19.2011

The Accidental Buddhist

I guess you could say I am the bag lady these days.

Starting a business is always a little bit of nerve racking and investing your last dime is like sleeping on a rack instead of a mattress.

I know my store is moving along but... really slowly.

This is the time the Blonde grabs onto faith and just prays every night that something is going to sell.

I am almost out of my designer things and the last few hold outs I do not think I can part with.

But if I am in the red, they will have to go to.

I am learning to live like a Buddhist.

I have to learn that the designer goods and material things I have are not the things that make me happy.

They doid and I am sad to see them go but in the end, I am still happy.

I wish things were better right now.

I am sure a lot of people wish things were better but the Blonde can't give up.

I know there is better times ahead.

And even if this is as good as it gets, I have to laugh in hard times face.

You can't call me down if I am still laughing and smiling.

Happiness is internal.

If you remember that, than even if you lost every material good....

You are still good to go.

Bless the people of Japan.

I do not know what it must be like to have your loved ones swept away and everything you built together.


How lucky I truly am.


The Blonde is enlightened!!!

3.17.2011

About Last Night

I had a fun night last night. I sat outside on a pretty night and laughed my arse off talking to my friend and her ex / on again, mostly off again man, on the phone.

I was sipping wine, yapping, and having an all night party with myself.

It made me think about the Commodore and how his world is not sooo much fun right now. I can't write about his personal stuff but the situation can not be cured with a bottle of wine and a good hangover.

Anyhoo,

I try to show support but I am not so sure if its wanted or if someone else has replaced my spot for a shoulder to lean on.

I could keep putting myself out there but what if he does have someone else and he is just being too nice to say something.

Ikes, that would be embarrassing, not to mention....

This Blonde does not need emotional charity.

I have been on the single path a long time with plenty of ships that just sailed off to another sea and I realize, I can't keep getting deeper and deeper involved unless the man confirms he really just wants to dock at my port.

I hope he is well. I do not know. Its a tough time and maybe he is just all locked up in his mental man cave trying to get through a really rainy season.

I hope the peeing on his parade ends soon and he can find his way back to me.

The Blonde is tired of dating herself.

3.16.2011

If You Build It They Will Come

Well, I built it.

I paid an initial fee of $49 for free insertion fees and free final value fees. My items are buy now at great prices and one price priority shipping.

Ebid.net burlap bikini

Ebay so gallantly offered 50 free insertions to soften the blow that they will now include shipping in their 21% (that is what they charge for clothing and handbags--not including 1.50 to list with 2 photos and 7 day extended auction) .

I only charge for shipping.

I do not pad the shipping costs.
I lose money on shipping just to pack it nicely.
I don't cram things or jam things in a bag.

I am sorry Ebay's board that you let the ex-CEO run off with a crap load of billions. It is not my problem and I am not your way out.

You are not passing the buck onto me.

If the CEO can spend a billion dollars on a campaign, what else did she walk away with?

If I want to spend on charity, I will give it to Japan, not some douche company that gave their CEO too much of everyone else's money.

You want my Louis Vuitton belt, my Faragamo evening bag, my Cole Haan loafers...

all barely used condition than you have to move to ebid. net...cuz that is where my new store front is.

And might I add, auctions are the thing of the past. Everyone knows to put the bid in last minute so I price my items knowing they wont sell for more than the auction price.

It seems sleazy to me.

I am pricing at what I want. Standard price. Buy it now.

Its a fair market value.

My sale items are not Goodwill.

I should know.

I donate a lot to them.

And after visiting Filenes Basement, my prices and goods rock.

Filenes, TJMAXX, Stein Mart have all become a dump of cheap goods!


The Blonde bids Ebay a fair adios!!

Not Quite a Bag Lady Yet



but its an early shopping day.


The Blonde is working the plaza!

3.13.2011

I Forget We Grow Old

I know my cats are just cats but to me they are my family.

Goose and Sophie are 16 years now.

They move slow.

They look a bit ragged but Sophie will still turn her tummy before you can blink an eye just to get that belly rub.

Goose, my Gustave Vladimir Russian beauty, he is cranky (always has been) and if you set your hand in his dome covered basket, you will get it nearly bit off.

They are old now and

one day I will have to say good-bye and it will...

HURT

by Johnny Cash.

I forgot how old he grew, too.

The sharing is disabled on this video but follow the link.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go


The Blonde wishes everyone had more time!!

3.11.2011

A Bright Sunny Day

Its amazing how your body holds onto stress and exhaustion without you even knowing it. It isn't until you are able to breathe a sigh of relief that you emote like a baby.

Last night, I felt the weight of school and work just drop off of me.

I cried like a baby and tucked myself in and slept all the way through.

Today, I feel like a got a 3 hour massage and face lift.

It would be great if we all had a mirror where we could actually really see ourselves.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a magic mirror on the wall telling you,

"Girlfriend, you are stressing and its showing. All the night cream in the world isn't going to fix that puffy, sad little face with dark circles until you take some time out and breathe."


It would be nice if mood rings worked for real. I bought a bunch for novelty to sell and I love them but unfortunately they only change colors on the climate, not the mood.

Still, we all need some way of figuring out when our bodies are on the red part of rev. We need to stay cool and hang in the yellow part otherwise our motors are going to burn up.

We don't have a magic mirror or an RPM meter but we do have buttons...

Those lovely little hot buttons that seem to set themselves off at a moment notice..

The lovely human meter

Warning

Warning

Red Hot and full cranky is now launched!!

Unfortunately, the warning is so short we end up flooring it and go full speed ahead to no stopping the rants now.

People may think twitter and personal blogs are a waste of time but I can tell you, they make for great therapy.

Who cares no ones reading or listening. All we need to do is vent sometimes. And its nicer to vent online in a harmless place than grab road rage and scream at an innocent blonde who tried to let you go around her before she looped around to park.

The Blonde has lots of highlights ahead!!

3.10.2011

Spring Break

is officially here for me. I finished the last of my classes this evening and its quiet.

It would be nice to have someone here to rest my head upon their chest and curl up on the sofa and watch a movie but, alas, I am alone.

It's surreal in its quietness.

Its a little sad and a little lonely tonight.



The Blonde is rather broken tonight!!

SXSW Austin TX

Hellooooo...I am soooo not....

working while SXSW goes on.

I am not sitting home alone next week.

I am going to SXSW.

I have to go in tidbits since I am not forking over $300 for a badge. $750 if you want the techhie stuff.

I will however fork over $10 for Mel Gibson's 'The Beaver'

and all the other stuff I want to see!

Mumford and Sons

Foo Fighters

The artist who did the Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, etc...record covers at the Blanton!!

Movies, music, and chillin around downtown!!!


The Blonde doesn't need no stinking badge!!!

3.09.2011

Alibaba.com

...is the magic genie lantern for the Chinese looking to rub a few dollars off Americans.

It is a bold in your face, screw you website.

I have tried to order wholesale but you do not get wholesale prices.

And shipping becomes ridiculous.

I tried to order sample suits for my kini shop and the one shop quoted me a fair price on samples but told me the fabric in the pictures was not available.

OK, so I pay fro sub-standard kini fabric.

Then they try to charge $200 for 36 kini samples.

Seriously, did I fall off a rice cart in Hong Kong?!

No, I did not.

I f I pay $200 shipping for 36 kinis, what is my shipping going to be on a mass scale...say 1500 kinis?

I don't need calculus to be a genius on this transaction.

And here is the kicker....

They want me to Western Union or wire transfer the money!!

Bold face Bull-YAa!!!

Yeah, Right?!!


Let me just send you a big fat bonus for finding another idiot in the U.S.

Bling!!

It is not that hard to find them. But you missed and found me.

So, you really wasted my time and I hope, at least, I wasted yours.

You douchinese!!!

Find another sucker.

The Blonde's bottle isn't filled with stupid!!!

La Classe Francaise est Faite

...pour maintentant!!

My french class is on break for the spring and while it is only for a week and a half...I feel elated!!

I have studied my little heart out and I am pulling A's and B's on the quizzes and homework. I have 3 exams that if I work hard through spring break, I will get the A's.

So my margarita and alone time on some sandy tropical isle will be replaced with a tropical screen saver and my $4.99 Cabernet from the local Stop and Shop.

Voila, ce n'est pas probleme!!

I just want to say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I can see why the kiddos are psyched about spring break...

It is an AHHHHHH moment.

And I am just in AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!


The Blonde says its ahhhhhhll gooood!!!

3.07.2011

The Quantum of Love

Something I used to blog about all the time has taken a back seat lately but I do have some thoughts to apply to it using algebra.

Take the sum of all his actions and subtract it from the sum of all his words.

If you end up with a positive number, your golden.

If you end up with a negative number, you need to convert that into a division against all the other negative numbers from guys and eventually you will see a losing battle.

I am on an infinity pattern to nowhere with love.

I could add some physics to the equation but that would make things look even more dismal than they already do on Planet Sole.

I have decided to jump ship and float back to reality.

Love sucks, it does not exist, and I am longing for home alone on earth.

I was a thousands leagues under water and drowning in bullshit.

I have bubbled up to the surface and its sandy beaches and margaritas on my own this spring break.

The Blonde is an island!!

I'm Sporting Double Ds

...and not in a good way.

I just scored another D on my french exam. I am two for two on the Ds.

If I were referring to plastic surgery, I would have the prettiest matching pair of double Ds this side of the french quarter.

I have had about all I can take with losing 2 points on my exam for every little missing accent over the e.

Accent grav

Circum flex

Vlah de francais de blah!!!

It isn't that I don't know the rules.

Never two infinitives together!

You can't have aller with a past participle unless your crazy!

'Y' is not a where but a preposition that needs a conjugated verb and in absence of that, place before the infinitive.

How stupid can one be not to understand the rules of french?!

Its so simple!!

Il est facile!!

I think....

Who knows any more.

C'est impossible!

Maybe some English tunes will inspire...

Conductor..a 'D' note please!!

Tutor in the morning, Tutor in the evening...

Tutor at supper time...

la la laaaa

la la

If I can't learn french, I am toast and my law degree is slime!!

F&$#@

la dee da da daaaaaaa!

I would like a life beyond etudier pour francais classe!!!!!


The Blonde is about to F U this course!!

3.06.2011

My Car Screams Loser!

I have a 95 jaguar vanden plas that I am not bragging about. The car looks like it got caught in a can opener on the right side and riddled by rubber bullets on the other side.

The trunk paint was fading so I glued a rubber bike matt on to hide the paint fade but it eventually whipped off in the wind and my long haired coon cat used it as a bathing salon one summer leaving fur glued permanently to the trunk hood.

Some days, I can get by not getting upset about the look of this once pretty car but on other days, especially when passing by all the nice new euro cars in the neighborhood, I have to just hold my head up high and act like I don't care just so I wont cry about it.

The one side was completely scraped off by two separate downtown instances involving too small a space and two giant asshole Texas trucks blocking my way.

I hope gas gets to $4 and their giant fuel traps consume mountains of expensive ethanol.

Anyhoo,

I was going to wash it today but what's the point. All I will do is see more of the disaster under the dirt.

Don't get down
Don't get down
Don't get down....

Oops...too late.
Thanks big yellow ferarri for driving by my car.

Made me feel great, not!

The Blonde is trying not to lose it!

Starving to Sell NOAH Vegan

http://us.ebid.net/for-sale/noah-vegan-italian-eco-style-handbag-brown-39041318.htm



Since I am running out of my designer clothes and handbags to sell, I decided to purchase a pallet of NOAH Vegan handbags to sell on my new ebid.net site.

Ebay fees are killing me. When added up, they are taking 20% of every thing I sell.

And when your a tiny store...


Anyhoo,

I am on ebid.net under burlapbikini now.

I hope I do well enough to maybe eat this week.

I really love these handbags. I like being stylish and knowing

the NO Animal Harmed mantra went into these fabulous totes and bags.


The Blonde is looking to save herself and Mother Earth!!

3.04.2011

I Don't Play Puppet

...to someone who wants a relationship with no strings attached.

And anyone looking for a long distance relationship, is in fact, only looking for a no strings attached relationship.

I have had my fill of these go no where, try to tug at your heart, bologne affairs.

I have no time.

I have no patience.

I have reached my entertainment value zenith.

I am happy, man-out of the game.

Maybe, I should apply to BYU just to get my 'no man' game on in full gear.

Yeah, right!!

Let's be serious...

I think BYU found an unsuspecting victim to pull their own agenda and they are targeting a key player to pull in media.

Where is Jesse Jackson when you need him?

Everyone gets played; let's hope the key players tugging at the strings of the innocent get to pay their karmic dues soon.

The Blonde will yank hard on her own!!

3.02.2011

White Dildo Goes Balistic

I went to school and as usual had to look for parking. I was excited to find one adjacent to my building.

I stopped normally, noticed someone behind me and as a good will gesture, rolled down my window and signaled with my hand for them to go around so they would not have to wait for me to do a uy-ee.

All of the sudden I heard loud forceful yelling.

I look behind me and there, right behind me, is a giant plastic didlo screaming at me to move.

OK....

First, you giant plastic dildo...I have to ask what compelled you to buy a white cruiser bike and white helmet?

Did Mommie not let you play with CHIPs action figures when you were young?

Do you have a secret crush on Eric Estrada?

Then I have to ask myself....

Do you really expect me to listen to your freakness?

Ahhh.. that would be a big 10-NO!!!

I stuck my head out the window to say I was trying to park but this road rage prig was too busy playing psycho dialogue in his head.

He finally went around.

And then, some biatch parked in my place.

At this point, it was too funny, I was too tired to care, and I had bigger things on my plate...

stll, I was gonna say something...

I waited for her to get out of her car.

"I was waiting for that spot. Did you not see my blinker on and the psycho behind me screaming because I stopped in the middle of a campus road for that spot?"

She says, "Oh gosh, no..."

Why I expected her to respect her surroundings will lead into my next story about college idiots.

OK so I say,

"What ever..It's a pretty day and I need to walk off the double douche I just got, anyway."

I go up the street and the giant plastic dildo is following me.

At this point, I don't have time to play and so I simply put my arm out the window with my phone in hand and tell the giant dildo I called the police.

Of course like any real prick without balls, he took off!!!


The Blonde is tired of playing without balls!!
There was an error in this gadget