Housewives of NYC

I just watched the preview of Kelly Bensimon flirting with the journalist from Playboy. She is so nervous and acts so goofy its almost embarrassing to watch if it were not just as harming as hell.

I think its the first time they show Kelly not being somewhat moronic. Of course I am speaking of her stand on fur. Wearing or not wearing fur has nothing to do with being American. And PETA is totally against fur and fur trade because of the heinous butchering treatment of the animals.

I have a rabbit fur scarf that on occasion I wear. I bought it at a second hand store but still I think about PETA every time I wear it, which is not often, and then I donate to an animal right cause.

Anyhoo,

Kelly had her pics done for Playboy and yes at 41, its a big deal to be asked but just for the record, a crap load of airbrushing is going on.

I look at Kelly and think her body looks older than 41.

And so to the point.

Don't wear fur unless its faux.

DROWN YOUR BODY IN SUNSCREEN.

You can tone muscle, you can fix cellulite but sun damage is a forever bitch.

And...

Put down the white wine!!

There is a reason why white wine's nickname is 'ripple'. It ripples the mid section and toxifies the body with more sugar than a can of coke.

Sugar ages the skin almost as badly as sun damage.

The Blonde SPFs on a daily basis.

Where have the years gone?

I started my day studying for french class and out of the blue it turned into an education in genealogy.

I am not one to fall prey to paying for services that I can use for free, legally.

So when my Mother badgered me on information regarding her relatives, whether imagined or not, I made the mistake of putting my help stick in the pond only to be engulfed by the flood of conjecture, theory, and ultimately finding myself in a wild goose chase.

I knew better.

I swore the day my Mother called 911 to report that terrorists were trying to blow up access to her neighborhood based on her finding a broken glass coke bottle attached to re-barb in the run-off tunnels that I would no longer fall victim to her conspiratory agenda.

I was wrong.

Like a serial killer, that neighbors swear by their charm, my Mother snaked me into another one of her never ending history challenging agendas.

All because of an old shoebox of photos that I had mistakenly opened in her midst.

From there it was just a matter of time before she wore me thin and dangly like a Guantanamo Bay detainee.

I was stuck googling for hours just to spare my Mother the fee of genealogy sites that offer nothing more than a conglomeration of free stuff on the web and inaccurate at best.

The problem I have with Ancestry. com and other Internet sites like them, is the idea that they are selling free stuff.

Its re-gifting at its worst.

Its Internet Salvation Army goods sold at a premium cost.

All the records Ancestry.com sells to you for 12.99 a month, is free and more reliable using Google search.

Google 'Ellis Island' and find that you can get the records for free, directly.

The Mormons say they have the records salvaged from Germany before WWII but they don't offer it on the Internet. You have to microfiche for it some other way. And when you do go fiching in Mormon archives, you will find yourself in shallow water.

Take the time to Google or Bing for free.

Paying for services like Ancestry.com is like getting advice on what book is worth reading from Oprah!!

The Blonde is taking time to kill the cost of free enterprises!!

I Am Pleased with the Anti Christ

Its almost too hysterical that some people believe Obama to be the Anti Christ but in the bible belt... they do. Well, if social reform, helping people get proper health care, cutting out the middle man, and making an higher education affordable, than sign me up on the wrong side of the cross.

Bring down the wall of old and bring in a wave of new ideas. A Utopian society, we will never achieve. People are simply not taught that helping the whole, actually helps the individual.

What is so wrong with helping the little guy?

I am a little guy and I am not so bad.

I am uninsured but no one pays my medical bills. I do. And I have a hard time paying triple the amount to let a few others piggy back off of me. So if I can share the load with my neighbor, and he with me, why not?

We all are already paying for those who don't pay and that includes the insurance companies that wiggle out of paying off medical debt that they rightfully should pay on behalf of an individual's policy.

Socialist health care is not an evil set to destroy the masses.

Its just a tiny step toward humanity.

Bye Bye Bottle Baby

I used to enjoy a bottle of wine every Friday. I no longer do that. I prefer maybe one glass of wine and that is it. I guess I am just super tired of it. After all, its been a few years of nursing my wine through an evening alone at home.

It was an old habit, leftover from a former boyfriend, and it was time to break it.

After going on date after date where the men just drank until the barrel ran dry, I looked at myself and thought....I don;t want to be like that. Nor do I want to be with someone who is like that. Not that they were bad people but drinking like there is no tomorrow is better left to the Spring Break crowd.

Along with not drinking comes the loss of my Nat Sherman habit as well. I rarely smoke these days and my lungs appreciate the cleaner air they enjoy. I will still enjoy the occasional puff filled fabulousness but it doesn't quite taste the same as when accompanied by a glass of vino.

In the end, life changes aren't so hard. Its as simple as saying....I have had enough and I am not going to take it anymore. Once small changes are made, larger ones begin and for the better.

I am at the preverbal turning point in my blonde bubble. Not to say it could burst and rain on my parade but for now...I am dancing to a new tune and I love it.

The Blonde is only sippy cup away from being her best!!

Stupid People Suck

I want it on a big bumper sticker so the next time I drive through a Sears drive-in battery replacement center...the men that work there will see it albiet get the correlation because they are STUPID!!

Seriously, I went to get a battery replaced and I went inside with the battery sans the car...the Saab wouldn't fit through the door.

Anyhoo,

Stupid sears salesman who is not a mechanic and has no common sense couldn't just look at the battery I just handed to him to replace it with one just like it. He insisted he needed to know the make of the car. I said "No you don't".

He said 'the system will have to tell me'.

I said, "You can't just look at the battery and give me a new one the same size and with the same post placements".

"The system has to tell me".

I said "But don't you have another system, one where you can look at the battery and turn around and look at the wall of batteries behind you and find an identical?"

"No Ma'am".

I and my old battery left on principle. The problem with giving them the make of a foreign car, it inevitably brings up the most expensive battery and nay lists a cheaper alternative. If you go to Wal-Mart they will look in the system and tell you they don't have a battery for SAAB or Jaguar.

Its not in their system.

But the batteries are on the shelves behind their stupidness.

We went to O'Reilly's. They use the old fashion 'system' of knowing what they are doing.

I had a 'system' argument once before at a Home Depot. I went to buy two french doors at 219$ a piece but the register rang it up as $2.19. I said there must be a mistake and the guy at the register and his manager looked at the doors and then looked at the receipt and simply, stupidly said "Nope, if its in the system , it has to be right"

The Blonde won't argue with stupidity!!

Under Control

Now that I have my man situation under control, I have nothing else to say about the matter. So it seems we are back to the blonde bitch fest this blog has been known for in the past.

My first bitch of the month, now that the weather has been fair to fab, is the inability of fat people and dog walkers to stay to the right of the hike and bike trails.

While I commend healthy walking habits, I have to give the bigger girls a failing grade for having to bring two of their chubby comrades to join them in the walk and leaving about six inches to the left to circumvent my bike around them.

On top of that I am dealing with double dog walkers who leave the leash loose enough for the dog to get caught up in my bike spokes if I dare continue my ride at regular speed. I spend most of my time at a snail pace just to get by without taking a nose dive.

I am thinking about buying some magic markers and poster board and put a few signs that remind the hefty crew and the doggie duds to keep to their side for other serious runners and biker's safe passage.

Why I am at it, a few signs reminding the pooch set to carry their ziploc doggie waste bags, would be another positive way of telling people to have some f--g manners.

One girl on a bike had the right idea.

She had a bell.

It was a pleasant way of saying, "Get the f-- out of my way!"

I am going to have to get me a bell.

Only my bell will have a little more oomph in the meaning.

I am thinking of an air horn for my bell.

Blondes on a bike may not have the right of way but we should.

The Blonde likes it when everyone is right!!