Can I have Candy?

Of course you can!!

My job as an Aunt, is to let my niece and nephew get a way with sheer murder, while in my presence, and then politely hand them back to mommy, after I have wittled away at their perfectly honed manners.

They have since left the building and its quiet without the children and the anarchy, of which I created with my simple arsenal of pandemonium; just a few bottles of coke, ice cream sandwiches, and the old bits of candy my Mother stashed away in a candy jar.

The candy came to my attention early in the morning, before my first cup of coffee. Knowing I am the commander in charge of sneaky behavior, the children came to me with the discovery. The candy was shaped like little fruits and vegetables. They did not say they found the candy, they merely asked if they could have the candy.

I said yes.

I am the Aunt and as far as I am concerned, they can have whatever they want because I know where to return them when the sugar kicks in.

Ah...Ah....Ah...the evilness of it all!

I love it!!

Now, to my defense, I thought the fruit and vegetable shaped candy belonged to my nieces Barbie kitchen playhouse. I did not realize it was candy my Mother hid away 15 years ago in a candy jar in the formal living area. It looked fine to me. Candy and Twinkies don't have an expiration date; plus what doesn't poison the munchkins, will make them stronger. Right?

I tried the candy, it was fine, and so I let the sugar rush begin.

Just as they were happily gobbling up the candy, my Mother comes down the hall.

Oh No!

Nanna went into a five minute discussion of why they can't eat the candy. Meanwhile, my sister over hears the lecture and comes barreling down the hall. She gives the children another five minute dissertation on stale candy and applied her nursing degree to thoroughly ruin the moment.

Then, Nanna and Martha Stuey attacked me with a stereophonic debate on, why I should not allow the children to have stale candy.

After 15 minutes of a non-stop dual-verbal beating, minus my cup of coffee, and the fact I was woken up at dawn by my precious little comrades...I got a tad gusty and guffawed off to my room at the end of the hall, to smother the ongoing commitment to describing botulism to children, and to proclaim my disgust in the older generation of paranoid parenting and grand parenting.

I was given a reprieve when they left me behind to go to the zoo, for the entire afternoon. I took that time to relish in the quietness of it all and to regroup with another disatisfactory decision, when the children came back.

Auntie V!

Auntie V!

What are we going to do now?!

Well, my little petunias. We are going to watch House Bunny downstairs, have several coca colas that have been sitting in the fridge for a year, and eat 3 month old candy kisses from the refrigerator.

Yeah!!!

You are our favorite Auntie!!

Auntie Blondie is way too sweet!!!